Every year time goes faster and faster, and somehow I am afraid I am not living my life fully.
Idk why, but I fear that after 10 or 20 years I will be 30 or 40, and maybe still quite lost in life with unfulfilled dreams.
How do you feel about time? Is time for you also flies too fast?
Also, our AP medication makes our life a bit shorter. Also the fact that many ppl with SZ smoke, abuse some kind of substances (of course not all people with SZ does this, I personally smoke, and I smoke a lot)
Maybe what I am fighting is fear of death. I fear to die young by an accident or illness, but also I am afraid to die overall.
Actually I am confused what I fear more, to die while feeling lost and haven’t achieved anything what I wanted, or death in itself.
well you are 23 or 24. its good you are thinking this. i suppose i did too but then i was nearly aimless. smoking pot. got nervous now and then and had thoughts of the future. that passed me by through good tomes and bad. was going to work janitorial, do farm work, volunteer, peer support. it never panned out.
just do something that makes you happy. i am 40 and pretty lost still. be happy.
These are very common feelings amongst all people. They are perhaps more acute in those of us with a condition that reduces our lifespan.
I am 40 and I still feel like I am not doing enough to accomplish my dreams. However, as long as I outlive my dog I have accepted that I may die younger than my siblings. If you can get a grip on your fear of death, you may use it to motivate you. Recover or retool your dreams accordingly.
I smoke a lot too, too much. I also indulge in beer and, I consider my cannabis use medical and not recreational. I can probably guess that most of us do not have a healthy diet or an exercise regime.
I found a helpful tool from cognitive behavior therapy: imagine that each thought is a train that you physically get on and ride around through the myriad of thoughts that can form from a single idea/train. Tell yourself that you are not getting on that train if you are having negative thoughts and consciously think about something else more pleasing or neutral and get on that train. It may be difficult at first but eventually you will reduce the times you get on a negative thought train and hopefully stop you from going down the rabbit hole towards fear of death.
I think fear of death and fear of not achieving things before death maybe one and the same feelings, generally speaking. Perhaps you could use that energy spent on worrying about death upon achieving small steps towards your goals or dreams. You’d be surprised how much time we spend worrying and not living to our fullest potential.
And if you’re really interested you should read Ernest Becker’s The Denial of Death.
I think time is supposed to be relative, but it doesn’t seem that way to me. I relate to the words in a song, “Life is like an hour glass glued to a table”. I’m 64 years old, and I’m wondering how much time I have left to do some of the things I want to do. I’m losing what’s left of my physical strength. I’m hoping I can make it to 80.