I’m fascinated by dreams and I love de-coding them. I pay very close attention to my dreams and figure out most of my waking problems from them, but sometimes it’s hard.
I have very weird dreams, to be honest. Every night is lucid, I’m usually shape shifting to get out of trouble, turning invisible, or doing illegal things while using my shape shifting powers. It’s so much fun, because it’s gotten to the point where when I feel my brain working to make the characters notice me, I will shove it down and completely manipulate it. (Side question, do you dream in color or black and white? 12% of the population in the US dreams in B&W. My dad does, only had two dreams that were monochrome)
I never grew out of nightmares. I have insomnia and I would have constant nightmares up until two years ago, when I started taking heavy sedatives. Since then, it’s just disturbing and horrible. I have trouble with this because I don’t know whether my dreams happened or not IRL. (TW, my dreams are really fcked up)
Anyways, sticking to the point. Two nights ago I had a troubling nightmare where I was kidnapped, I forget the reason, and taken to a horrible place where human torsos were on the ground and people murdered and tortured people. Most of the dream I pretended to be the ladies pet pig so she didn’t kill me, but I started talking to her and she realized it’s me and locked me in the back of a U-Hal truck where I was naked and sat there to die, but I shape shifted into a white eagle and flew outside and tried to get into the air (flying is the hardest thing for me to do in dreams, took me a year to figure it out), but two small children, a boy and a girl, smiled at me and tried pulling me down, but I managed to make them disappear and I flew away.
And a reoccuring dream I keep having is me suddenly have owned some sort of pet (a horse in the past, now it’s reptiles and snakes) that I had been neglecting and abusing. They would be in small containers and dying. I would break down into tears trying to convince myself and others around me I had no idea, but they called e abusive and wouldn’t let me help it. Then my two ferrets were out playing and a boa constrictor that started out as a cool pet (and kept trying to bite me) turned evil and killed my ferrets. I saw trails of blood on the ground and Bean being dragged away, dead. Then Cream was on the ground and I picked him up but he lived, but was dying. My voice stopped working and I tried to tell the girl next to me Cream was dead and we need to go to the hospital.
Last night I used a time machine to go into the year 3017 and I went to school and met a group of girls who became my friends. I asked them things like who was the president, and what you did, and I explained what is was like to be alive in 2017. I went down to the beach where the time machine was, but it was all change. I tried to get them to come to me in a secret part of the woods where the Yellow Tree was (not sure why, I keep getting oak trees in my dreams, they symbolize a loss of childhood or grief of letting go for me), but we went down to the beach. I tried to collect things, and there was a crocodile (I keep getting those as well) and two baby sand sharks. Then I tried to drown myself and I got in trouble by the teacher because I needed to get back to school. They got rid of trans right and I had to de-transition back into a girl (worst feeling ever), but I manged to convince my friends to come with me to 2017 but I don’t remember what happened, other than I became upset that all of my loved ones died because I was in 3017.
Later we were in water and we had to find the time machine but I had become a black man?? and a cop saw me and saw swimming towards me. My friends got out safely but I couldn’t swim so I let myself drown.
When I woke up I felt sad because I keep getting dreams where people want to be my friends but it’s the opposite in real life.
