Schizophrenia.com

Would they rather i failed?


#1

idk i guess some people just dont like it when things are going well for me, i think people get jealous
and bitter, they see me as a scrounger that is conning the system because i get benefits that they dont get, and they need to work harder for things.

i would work harder if i could and truth be it i am doing the best i can, i find it harder than most people to do things even tho i may look normal i still have an underlying mental health problem, i cannot work just now it is impossible it would kill me, all i can do is voluntary work which is easier and less pressure with flexible times that dont affect anything else i am doing,

i’ve managed to be able to do certain things within my threshhold and despite my illness, so why cant people just be happy for me? i think i deserve a medal tbh but all i get is people complaining and there is more to life than money,

i have been seriously thinking about just giving it all to my church and telling them to fk off i have been considering sitting in town with a sign that reads “give it all to Jesus” it just feels like the right thing to do but i know i would get spat on for that as well.


#2

Be happy for yourself. You know that you are doing the best that you can and that is all anyone can ask. Be proud of the things that you are doing. Try not to let other peoples actions or words get you down. My :metal: to you for being the best that you can be.


#3

You can’t satisfy people, just do what makes you happy …good luck


#4

I think your doing amazing. You do so much, you have fought so hard and you are doing more then some people who are perfectly healthy.

There are a lot of people who have NO illness what so ever and they spend all their free time on their sofa doing nothing. I have a “friend” who actually got mad at me for studying so much. She said that my studying reminds her how much she isn’t studying. Odd, but maybe people see how much you do and they feel guilty, so then they feel angry about feeling guilty so then they lash out.

It’s hard to ignore the intentions of others.
I hope you don’t mind me making this maybe misguided observation. I never claim to know anything about SZ other then what I see in my brother.

But from the outside looking in, I always wonder if (among the 100 other things that going on) the natural insulation that makes it easier to ignore bitter and misguided people gets worn away durning the onset of SZ.

It’s hard to put up with all the negativity. But I’m rooting for you. You have a lot of strength to do as much as you do. Don’t let people who don’t know how hard you work ruin your day.


#5

“There are a lot of people who have NO illness what so ever and they spend all their free time on their sofa doing nothing”.

KIdsister is absolutely right. My sisters have told me this many times. The are many able-bodied, physically and mentally healthy people who refuse to work and sponge off of others or their parents and family. I wouldn’t say we schizophrenics have an EXCUSE that we don’t all work and may get a little monetary help from our parents or the government. I would say we have a valid REASON that we don’t all work. There’s a difference. My point of view for schizophrenics who can’t work or go to school and feel guilty about collecting benefits is this. Hey, if you are not doing drugs, causing trouble, or hurting anyone then you are doing better than half the normal population and you deserve every penny that the government gives you. If you are schizophrenic and you are doing drugs I’m sorry to hear that. But yeah,my sisters husband had a circle of 9 or 10 friends who he knew since 2nd grade. My sisters hung out with them too. I met them. They all seemed to have it made. We all grew up in an affluent town. But they all seemed so happy and I was telling my sister how everybody is happy but me.She told me that most of them are faking being happy just to ‘look good’. She told me that in reality they had marriages where they abused their spouses, they were alcoholics or bums. But they frequented the nice clubs and restaurants and played around. That was YEARS ago. Currently, my other sister has worked at Job Core for years( I don’t know if other states besides California has a Job Core) Job core is a place where young people between 17 and 25 can join and be trained for jobs and helped to get an education. It is mostly under-privileged kids with no money and no other options. So she sees a lot of troubled people. And she tells me stories of their lives.She’s a nurse there. Believe it or not some of us schizophrenics have better lives than some of these kids. A lot of the kids she sees have mental health problems, drug addiction, are victims of years sexual and physical abuse, are anti-social, pathological liars.They run the whole gamut of bad luck and being victims. But my sister tells me that my life is a lot easier than theirs.
So daydreamer, count your blessings. You admit you are doing the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask. I put up with crap too, believe me. And at work, I get depressed and feel no one likes me and that I’m low man on the totem pole. But an old AA saying goes like this, : “Don’t compare your insides to other peoples outsides”. Good luck.


#6

Washington State has Job Core. I LOVE job core. One of my friends from school just finished his plumbing certificate and can be a journeyman. He’s off drugs, sober and making some good money. He’s the one fixing drains at the woman’s dorm’s at the UW. I smile for him at that… many damsels who have no way to wash their hair have to call him in… :wink: On top of that, he can charge Sunday rates.


#7

You are working harder than alot of people in my opinion, so what are they talking about?

Getting disability for schizophrenia is not easy, it’s very hard.

I imagine that they imagine that we sit around having a great time or something, they just can’t relate though because the diseases of mortality havent overtaken them yet, it’s like projecting their health on us, “boy if i was getting “free money” id be very happy!” No you wouldn’t, not if you were us my friend, alot of us don’t just end our lives for no reason.

They appear to be as sick in the head as we are don’t they.