Next week, I have my first appointment with a local ‘early intervention for psychosis’ team, and I’m not sure what it will involve but I bet they’ll ask lots of questions like they always do.
The thing is, the thoughts being transmitted to my head have been saying that I need to end my life by the end of next week, which is when I am supposed to receive my exam results. I wouldn’t say I am suicidal, in fact, I am feeling quite calm and content at the moment. I do not care about what my exam results will be either- I’m not one of those people who get depressed if they don’t get the highest grades, although I did used to be but not anymore. I don’t care.
The person/people sending the signals say that they will help me and will stay with me until I die so I won’t be alone.
If I tell this to the person/people at my appointment, what will they do?
[Also, I know a lot of people on this site are really nice and caring but PLEASE don’t worry about me, I am in safe hands with the person/people sending me signals. They are only doing all of this to help me.]
If there’s no bed, and you are suicidal, they would hold you in the ER til one became available.
The hospital is not so bad. I mean, some are better and some are worse. But they would just keep you til you were stable. They’d give you meds, you might have the chance to participate in groups. Depends on the place. It’s good that you’re in an early psychosis treatment, you’re going to get more help.
Any talk of suicide will land you in a hospital. In my experience however, the ER or mental program you get placed in focuses on stability, control and routine. They will achieve this with drugs, group, one-on-one sessions and talk of future care.
Suicidal thoughts and actions are apart of our disorder. I’m experiencing it right now as I’m sure many on this site are. It manifests differently in each of us through voices (good and bad or happy and sad ones), hallucinations and emotions. Schizophrenia is a lifelong disease and living with it is hard (understatement).
The voices we hear are coming from our disorder. Nowhere else. When we die, they will also die. They will not catch or meet us anywhere. This is something I have to remind myself everyday. I hope you are able to find time for yourself away from what you hear and go forward with your life naturally.
Thanks, my main worries about hospital stem from hearing stories about women (and even men sometimes) being sexually abused on psychiatric wards by other patients.
Also the fact that I’m only 18 so I’ll probably be one of the youngest patients there and even worse, I literally look like a 14 year old!!
I probably won’t even end up going to a hospital though. They seem to think my home is safe enough, even though my parents are completely programmed so I can’t trust them.
I’m grateful that I’ll be getting extra support, I just hope that the people I speak with haven’t been programmed too much .
I have intrusive thoughts about suicide a lot. Like non stop. I’m a little obsessed. I talk about this with my doctor, but I also tell him (quite honestly) I’m not going to do it. I can’t exactly ignore these thoughts, but, I don’t act on them.
Things are going to change and you wouldn’t want to do anything permanent.
Thanks for the reply
The voices/thoughts I have are so nasty yet I’ve begun to find comfort in them, which I know is so twisted. They are always there with me and I don’t feel so lonely… they understand me.
I haven’t been diagnosed with schizophrenia and the doctors probably don’t think I have it but I’m finding that I relate to a lot of people on this site. If I do get diagnosed with anything, it will probably be something that’s like five words long and not officially an illness, knowing me.
I wish I could offer you some good advice but my brain is like mush at the moment. You seem very nice so I wish you a peaceful life ahead. It’s always nice when it feels like the voices are absent from our minds, even if it’s only for a short while
The early intervention team will probably book to see you more than once, they’ll do a few questionnaires with you to determine whether you have psychosis and the risks involved, you’ll probably be assigned a care coordinator, I’ve recently been through this process myself and my care coordinator is lovely, and so helpful. I suffer badly with anxiety when out and about so he and another lady took me to Costa coffee, for exposure therapy. Glad you’re getting help
I have been hospitalized several times and it depends on the hospital. one time I was hospitalized I had to sleep in front of the door for fear of being hurt.
one hospital I stayed at one of the patients peed on my bed and stole my money from my locker.
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