Why is my family being weird?

Unusual Beliefs
1

I’m not sure if I am just imagining this but I seem to have my texts ignored more often or with less of a response. I don’t call them, they are too busy for that. They are the only connection I have. I don’t have any friends. Even if it is just a coincidence it is still bothering me.

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Yes you do.

:heart:

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Thanks :slight_smile:

15151515

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Are they busy working etc?

Are you being needy? People get tired of that.

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5

I usually don’t text them while they are working.

Perhaps I am being needy. I just like to communicate with them every few days. I send a message and hope for a reply the same day. I do message them when I am drinking, perhaps they are tired of that. I am not incoherent or rude, I just like to socialize when I am having a few drinks, and texting is as close as you can get in the country.
My father was always trying to contact all six kids (and anybody else who would listen). Perhaps I take that characteristic from him.

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Definitely post here if you are feeling a bit lonely, there is usually someone on who is up for a chat.

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I feel this way about my brother
He is usually too busy to text or call me

Sometimes I just want to socialize a bit with someone other than my elderly father

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8

I occasionally get the feeling that I am being ignored. In therapy, I have learned to reflect on objective facts.

  1. I look at my recent text history, and see how often I actually get a response. Sometimes I discover that I only THOUGHT I sent a text. Sometimes I discover that the past five texts have gone unanswered for days.

  2. I look at the responses and see if they contain more than 2-3 words, and if they were delivered the same day. If they are short responses, and/or were sent after a long wait, I move to step 3. If I realize the messages were actually being responded to reasonably, I move to step 5.

  3. Read over my messages and look for the following things that can make people hesitate to answer messages:

  • more than 40% of the messages are about negative feelings I have or struggles I am experiencing
  • I forget to ask any questions about their day
  • I forgot to respond to an important thing they shared with me
  • I try to continue the conversation after they try to end it by saying cues like “I gotta go” or “It’s getting late”
  1. If I have done those things, I respond in the following way
  • If I was too negative, I share a positive thing that happened in my day, then ask them how their day was.
  • If I forgot to respond to an important detail, I make an appropriate response to that detail, then ask them how they are doing
  • If I missed the cues that they couldn’t keep talking, I send a text that implies there is a finite end to the conversation approaching. Something like, “Hey, getting ready to go to the store, but I just wanted to check in and say hello.”
  1. If the messages were responded to in a timely manner, with thoughtful responses, I do a mindfulness exercise to remind myself that sometimes feelings of rejection are not in line with reality, and let the feeling pass with the context that it is just a feeling, not a warning.
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9

You sound like your perspective is shaped by isolation to some extent. It’s a tough question

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10

You are an artist are you not, @Revv1?

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Yes, I was but I couldn’t paint very well after I started to take my medications. Or at least I think I can’t, I’ve only tried once.

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I would encourage you to keep going. I couldn’t use a camera worth beans when SZ first knocked me sideways. The skill came back and improved with effort.

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I will! I was hoping to get back into it. I am tired of painting from old photographs and the likes. I want to do more original work but now I don’t get the inspiration for ideas. I felt like I had a style and something to say. Now I am just blank. I don’t have the drive. I’ve got a stack of canvas in my bedroom ready to be painted on, I just need an idea.

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14

This is very helpful, thank you. I don’t think I ask enough questions to warrant a response sometimes. I just assume they would tell me about their day or week.

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You’re welcome to use any of my photos if you like:

Imgur

I challenge you to give this one a whirl.

:wink:

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That’s a nice one! My brother airbrushed something similar on his newborn’s wall, he did an amazing job.
I’ll have to see if I can do it. :slight_smile:

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