Why do I have such a high level of internalized stigma?

DX'd - Other
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Every time a murder happens, I get triggered and start thinking I am the worst murderer and a terrible person on the planet. Why is that?

I’m working on this with a therapist but it’s only getting worse since I came back to my country 6 years ago.

People in the sz community in Korea say that it’s not my fault and it’s the person’s fault that did it. But how do I stop internalizing it? Will I potentially become dangerous? Will I ruin the lives of others?

I’m done with myself at this point. I just feel absolutely hopeless. I’m reading papers about internalized stigma and try to heal myself from it but it’s to no avail.

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Just try to make the best possible choices on a daily basis. That’s all you can do to be a good person.

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Good reason to take your medications. That lowers your odds to 0%.

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I’m on a high dose of medication and I think it’s due to my CPTSD. I think what I need is continuous therapy to help reduce my CPTSD symptoms.

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Do you have any hobbies you can do? The more you think about how sick you are, the sicker you are going to be.

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I draw. But recently I’ve been studying for a certificate so that hobby has been put down for now.

I think what’s making it worse is my neurological disease that’s bringing me down physically most of the time. I’m in debilitating pain most days and can’t sleep without sleeping pills.

I’m just trying to heal myself because I don’t have much support around me. I can’t also explain to my mom that what she did traumatized me. I don’t want to hurt her.

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I am sure you do not want and you will not hurt anybody. No need to internalize the acts of bad people.
What you are going trough sounds tereble.
Is good you take sleeping pills. Is much better after a good sleep

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I think neurotypical people want me to think this way.

When I was in clinic for my paralysis I overheard nurses talking bad about me because I was misdiagnosed with sz.

That hurt me. I will never trust anyone again

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I used to suffer from the same problem, but it has gotten more tolerable now. You have to believe that things can get better. Personally, I don’t think I am ever going to be a social butterfly, but I still can have a good life. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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