For me I get stressed and then psychotic. I can barely function at home. How on earth would I be able to function at a job?? I hate this illness. I want to go on with life but I can’t, I’m stuck.
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I asked my last boss why he fired me and he didn’t answer me. Too delusional to stay in reality I guess. Who knows.
I was able to work on lower med doses but then I get positive symptoms including abnormal behavior which makes me end up quitting work to avoid humiliating myself when others see my symptoms. Last time I worked I heard voices then went to my car during break time to talk to my voices aloud, I was also making abnormal grimaces and laughing for no reason to my voices as sometimes they said stupid stuff like lick this girl’s toes or this tree is talking to you, yes you, haha etc I also get partially catatonic staying in abnormal positions but I try to hide this too from coworkers.
Now on 5mg risperidone I have none of those issues, I am and I look normal, but my negative symptoms are worse so can barely get out of bed.
I worked off and on for 11 years and get a small check from social security along with my disability. I also have more insurance because I worked. Work experience is valuable. I was happier working and wish I still could. I could go on and on about why I can’t work but I’ll simply say I’m mentally burned out and after I’ve been awake a few hours my mind has trouble cognitively with symptoms of sza.
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yeah i could relate. i worked as soon as i was legally eligible but i quit every job i ever got. at 18 they began to ask questions about periods of no work. i at first said i was just playing in a band. then i didnt work for a while but took classes. at 20 i applied for a factory job and got the job but skipped town because of tge drug test. should have just told them i had smoked at a party. then late 21 i got disability and didnt work until i was 23. i cleaned for the power company but burned out because it was 6 nights a week. i did all the labour for a while after yhat out of the kindness of my heart. farmwork. a communal labor of love. my next jobs were in my early 30s. i now want to work a few days a week stay under the 900 dollar li m it.
i could do janitorial but its hard to find part time. i have to do something but the whole 40 work week isnt for me.
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I think a job is like clothes, you need to find something that fits you, that you feel confident doing, and also enjoy. You can work in something shabby temporarily that pays the bills while you work towards your dream job. I feel like very few people ever get their dream job, though, because of the various obstacles. That really sucks.
I found a couple jobs that I’m really good at and enjoy. They aren’t high positions by any means, but I felt good working at them. One was for a non profit organization, so I helped people, and the other was grocery delivery that I was good at and enjoyed. I can’t say much more, as I’m a stay at home mom, but when the kids are grown and gone, I’m going to get back to working in the education field, with my degree.
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How do you manage to code with an inability to sustain focus, or even with a lack of motivation? From my experience, coding requires a lot of focus and motivation.
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Becoming overwhelmed. Everything is ten times more effortful. No one can truly understand trust that unless they been in my shoes.
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I’ve never been able to hang on with a job for the long term. The longest I have ever held a paid job was 3 years.
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I’ve been at my current job for 14 months. Part time.
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I always use to figure if I was healthy and teachable then I could hold down a job.
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I don’t want to take more work responsibilities due to increasing stress. I just don’t trust people. Keep questioning their motives. Severe anxiety.
Cognitive problems. I have difficulty putting thoughts into words. And with thinking itself. Attention problems.
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In recent years my negative symptoms have subsided quite a bit.
When working on my own ideas, without external boundaries or rules, I feel more energized and another aspect is that I’m a proud person and I want my program to work well.
Things change when I have a job (I currently don’t) and there are many limitations on what I can do. I tend to get frustrated and it saps my motivation big time.
So I’m trying to find pleasurable projects. This way I can stay motivated and focused for a longer time.
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For me it is the stress, the inability to comprehend, the exhaustion, the paranoia, the overload of impulses… but eventually I will manage it better.
I want to perform at my best, but I have to accept that it is not feasible… I also need to be more easy on myself and not beat myself up for it. I worked for decades, really hard, so I don’t feel obligated if I cannot keep up anymore. It is easy to beat yourself up, but the disease is disabling in so many ways.
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But you are able to hold down work as a coder? I think this post is important because the original question was something like why can’t many of us find meaningful employment. Coding is one of the few jobs I have seen on here that would count as meaningful employment.
I worked the first seven years I was sick. I didn’t think I was sick though and I was worse off than I am now. Couldn’t keep a job for longer than 9 months though. Went through 7 of them.
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I would state that going off of medication while being employed is a bad idea and leads to schizophrenics parting ways with their employer.
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I don’t know how meaningful various jobs are, tbh.
Is there a scale to measure meaningfulness?
My work involves spending long hours tethered to a computer screen and keyboard, writing code. I tend to get fidgety. My mind drifts away. My eyes lose focus.
Since coming down with sz I’ve worked full time for 2 and a half years in total. So it’s definitely doable. I often feel I’d rather be doing something else, something easier, maybe data entry or middle school teacher, trouble is in my country such jobs are poorly remunerated and there would hardly be any mental stimulation, without which I fear my cognitive functions will rot.
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If you don’t mind me asking, you worked 2 and a half years in total out of how long? As in how long have you had sz for? Even though I’m impressed that you’ve managed to hold down a coding job, I say follow whatever way your heart takes you. You can make a lot of money doing any job. Would you consider moving somewhere that compensates middle school teachers or data entry professionals better?
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Do you mean that you’ve taken various jobs from different sources instead of one job from the same source?