Schizophrenia.com

Which are your strategys for making new friends?

#1

How do you make new friends?
Tolteca.

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#2

from past history i have been told people find it uncomfortable if i stare through a window at them without saying a word !
note to self - do not do that again.
take care

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#3

Happen upon someone - There’s a homeless person I have an affinity for. I saw her today.

#4

I have no strategy. The last friend i made was my late wife back in 82. We were both in hospital . She saw me wandering the hospital grounds clutching a radio and asked someone who i was. Then we met on the same ward and she started talking to me. For some reason despite our age difference we just clicked. There was no strategy . Just fate bringing us into contact. In the ordinary course of events coming from quite different backgrounds/areas we would never have met.
Since she died there has not been the slightest hint of a friendship. For a few years i had a befriender ,as i was socially isolated , but in the end he left to be with his girlfriend as she went to uni in a different area.
Truth is unless it happens by fate/chance i don’t know what to do to make friends.

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#5

I actually put an ad for myself on craigslist and met a very intelligent young lady in med school tonight. She has bipolar NOS and we really hit it off well, I actually specified that I was schizophrenic looking for someone with a psychiatric disorder so we were open about ourselves. But that was a last resort- I am in college and dated some girls last semester and they all lost interest in me after three dates. I joined the anime club at school, its something to do. Other than that I really havent made new friends, I just hangout with my friends from high school who are in town.

I am going to join a powerlifting team this summer. Hopefully make some friends who are as crazy as I am. You have to be crazy to lift that much weight.

I introduce myself to people from class and it is really hit or miss. People are either receptive or not.

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#6

i used to look for crazy girls,
had a bipolar girlfriend for a while.
problem was insurmountable when
both patients were having bad days at the same time;
two insane people can’t hold eachother together.

#7

well, if you drink, you can go to bars…if you like God, you can go to church…when you’re old like I am you stay in close contact with the friends you already have because it is TOUGH to randomly make friends…I mean “really good” friends…my grandmother once said that when you die if you can count your friends on more than one hand you’ve lived a lucky life…

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#8

Last time I had a friend was I think back in 1974.

I too don’t have a clue as to how to find a friend.

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#9

I don’t have any strategies.
I just try to be friendly with everyone. Say hello, look people in the eye, help if I can no matter how small it may seem.
If you want friends, you have to take a chance and keep an open mind on what a friend should look like, act like, and even make you feel like.
Set boundaries and allow no exceptions to the rules-friends can be a lot of things, but they should never be allowed to hurt you on purpose.

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#10

Try a mental health club. Im a member of one and its a great place to meet nice understanding people. Mental health clubs are in all cities and some towns, so check it out. Ask your shrink or contact the psych hospital or your local mental health organisation/…
Anyway, Good Luck with your journey…

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#11

Your wife sounded like a very kind soul who brought you some happiness. I’m glad you had some time with her. I’m also sorry for your loss. I hope fate smiles your way again.

Age can’t stop the young at heart and you never know what might happen or who you might bump into on a walk.

#12

I actually don’t have a lot of FRIENDS. There are people who drop by and my sis collects all walks of life into our day. Some I like, some I don’t. Some I get to see more then once. Some I never see again.

My newest friend is actually my oldest friend who I met when I was 6. When we were both 17 I ended up in hospital and he ended up coming out and we both got our noses out of joint about a few things.

His kid sis and my kid sis got us in the same room a few months ago and that old friendship is repairing.

I guess my advice for meeting people would be to get out an about a bit more and open up to the possibility to interaction. It’s HARD I know… but sometimes I have to swallow down that panic and paranoia and just keep telling myself that people aren’t out to just mess me up for fun. Give them a chance.

I’ve been pretty lucky with my chances. I just can’t get upset when people don’t call back or follow through. Some people come and go, others stick around.

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#13

I signed up for match.com and made 2 really good friends there. It’s a little expensive, but I think it’s worth it. The quality of people is surprisingly good. People who have true friendship in mind.

That was 2 years ago, and we’re still close friends.

I hope you find some good friends too!

Blessings,

Anthony

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#14

I meet new friends every time when I take a class or work for someone.

When I’m not at work or in school, my friends get me into their group activities. So in these two years, I get to know some people who are my friends’ relatives or partner or best friends or colleagues. I have been stop going for a while. Maybe later.

I want to say, my father doesn’t have any friend in the past. He meet a lot of new friends only after his retirement. He often walks into the community center to read the posters and joins any activities he likes to. He collects friends there easily. He smiles a lot and likes to remember other people’s name. He just greets people every time he sees someone and then they tell each other a little bit of fact they could recall about the other person. It is so easy. He had a few daily routine, like morning swim and karaoke. When he shows up at predictable time, he gets together with a group of people and they become friends who share common hobbies. Now that he has stable friends who chats with him every morning and gathers with him every afternoon. He is a little Alzheimer’s. People just love him.

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#15

I don’t try to make friends really, im just doing my time at this point.

#16

Thank you for your answers, for me are very useful.
Tolteca.

#17

i’m a pretty friendly and sociable guy. there’s no real key to it.

i just introduce myself, and i start to speak to that person and try to make connections with them. and you chat and talk about life, or ask them questions about their life. you take an interest in someone and they become your friend.

#18

Most of my friends I’ve met through my wife. She is a decent judge of character. My own friends suck, and I’m weeding them out. I have no strategy to make friends.

#19

I find that I have rekindled old friendships due to my illness. I became very good friends with an old buddy who has a heart condition, he has had multiple open-heart surgeries and is scarred, physically, very similar to how trauma as a child and schizophrenia as a young man has scarred me psychologically and emotionally. He and I became drinking buddies and had unforgettable good times last year. I am on meds now and can’t drink but he knows it’s for the better and he is still there, a good supporting friend, not a fair-weather friend.

My old friends have come back in town from school and have been very supportive, they workout with me and spend time just chilling out. I keep in touch with all of my old friends and it has been very good for me.

As for new friends, I haven’t made many since my onset. I have been making progress though, I made a friend over the weekend and I joined a club at school. I will be joining the powerlifting team at my gym this summer, so I will have a very structured environment full of discipline, dedication and camaraderie.

For me, I find activities, groups of people with similar interests is the best place to start from scratch. Being in a room with people who are there for the same reasons is the best place to find friends, given that you are in that room for the same reasons that they are. But it’s all about putting yourself out there and trying again and again. It’s like fishing. Just throw a line and see if they bite, and be patient, and enjoy yourself while doing so.

I make acquaintances very easily by hanging out at the smoking spots on campus.