When you're self destructive, are you aware you're copying one of your parents?

When I was younger, I did not recognize that I was copying my Dad. Now I do and it makes it a little easier to control.

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I’m a clone of my father. I look like him, I sound like him, I have his personality. I have his temper too, which is not too frequently a good thing.

I’m not sure where my destructive behaviors come from, specifically, so I think I might be an example of how such things can just pop up in a blood line sometimes.

My mother is extremely narcissistic, but she is also extremely high-functioning, I don’t think she has a single self-destructive bone in her body. She is aggressive and calculated in all that she does, and is now even a high ranking executive of a nation-wide company making big money - even though she doesn’t even have a college degree. She gets ■■■■ done.

My father was self-destructive but not in the same ways that I am sometimes am. He turned to alcohol for self-medicating, which made his MI symptoms all worse. He became increasingly paranoid and hostile, lost his house, job and second marriage, and even got restraining orders against him. He is now a homeless, drunk nomad and nobody knows where he is most of the time.

My self-destructive tendencies tend to be a lot more private and inward, I don’t get drunk and try to fight people in grocery stores or anything.

Passive, people-pleasing, self-abnegating, unwilling to take care of self = father

Withdrawn, paranoid, anxious, cold = mother

My traits are not really similar to my parents other than outgoing and entrepreneurial minded. Caring etc.

But there very mentally normal

Both my parents are pretty level headed good hearted people

Dad = alcoholic, confident, smart, stubborn

Mom = neurotic, shy but talks a lot when in comfort, overprotective, overemotional

I kinda like them sometimes but feel most of the time theyre not real and are just playn games

Live with mom and stepdad and havent seen dad in 5 months

Im 21

My mother has a lot of self-loathing. I recall her once telling me when I was six that she was going to kill herself. I got pretty terrified. She does this a lot. It does definitely rub off over time. However, the sad thing is that these days I am less affected by it. Likewise, she never would get any counseling for it.

Yes. Rage runs in my family on my dad’s side and I’ve unfortunately inherited it. As a child I would hurt my siblings until they cried when I was angry. I realized even back then I was emulating my dad and promised myself to never hurt or lash out at someone out of anger again. I stuck to that promise pretty well. Unfortunately that means constantly repressing extreme anger which has taken a bad toll on me, because when it is internalized it then makes me want to be incredibly violent towards myself and definitely plays into the suicidal urges.

That’s an interesting point to think about.

No both my parents want constructive things.

We have issues that try to divide us.

My moms most distructive thing was smoking two packs of cigerettes a day and finally after more than 40years she quite.

My parents are very critical and can have destructive critisism but they are wanting things to be as constructive as possible.

I guess I can be copying one of my parents, but I think the issue here is attachment. Being around someone so long you are gonna pick up some of their characteristics. So I guess I can dive into them and wear them out until they transform into something else, now that I am free of the people who I don’t like that is.

well i look exactly like my mom but my personality is completely the exact opposite. i kinda have her temper though.

My earlier years I copied a lot from my father.

Today I copy a lot from my mother.

I’m still trying to figure out my place, some days I feel like I’m making progress in not being so much like my mother. But she’s cool, I don’t mind copying her.

Theoretically, it’s possible that my parents were copying me. Not everyone maintains the same linear relationship with time as others do.


Takes a licking, keeps on Pixing.

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