So, yesterday, I was getting frustrated with myself. I kept forgetting to do simple things, like call the internet company or bring the empty crates back to the old house to refill. I was walking around feeling like I was just a huge idiot who screws everything up, and I felt like Mr. Star must be getting sick of fixing all my mistakes. Then, while we were packing, he just stopped, sat down, and told me he’s sorry that he keeps screwing up everything, and he wishes he was better at home repairs, and he feels like he ruins everything whenever he tries to help. And I realized he was viewing our relationship exactly the opposite of how I was. He thought I was the one who kept cleaning up his messes!
And I now have a theory. Maybe everyone, at any given time, feels like they are a total failure. Maybe it’s a universal experience. And, obviously, it isn’t true for everyone else, so it must not be true for me, either. Maybe I’m not a total failure at all. Maybe I’m just good at some things and bad at other things, and that’s okay. Everyone has things they’re good at, and things they wish they could do better. So I’m here to tell you, you are not a failure, either. You’re just good at some things and bad at other things. Don’t beat yourself up over that, because it makes you beautifully human!
Felt like a failure several times this weekend. Felt like one this morning when I discovered a mistake I made at work that will take some effort to fix. Only good news with the last one is that the boss isn’t wound up and said, “well, you won’t do it a second time.”
The quote isn’t what’s going on in @Ninjastar 's situation, but I wanted to post it anyway. What’s going on is Catastrophizing. This is a belief that things are far worse than they actually are. We make a few mistakes, then we see ourselves as a complete and utter failure.
The best way we can prevent Catastrophizing is to have an awareness that we are Catastrophizing. We need to challenge the thoughts: “I forgot to do this and that. I’ll never be able to remember anything. Nobody will love me.” Hmm, “No, that’s not true. Everybody forgets things from time to time… I’m only human. I’ll fix this mistake and just try to concentrate a little bit more to try to do better in the future. Nobody is not going to love me for a mistake or two.”
As an aside, one of my blogging friends used to be one of the writers behind “Ed Anger” on Weekly World News. She’s awesome. (That’s right, I said, “she”.)
I feel like a failure at least once per day. Well…I still have some achievements and it just takes some time to remember that im not a total failure. But I always compare myself to other people ( better in some way) …I only wish to stop doing it, because it is so poisoning.
I think I needed this post today, thank you…I have been struggling with feelings of failure lately, like how I have not lived up to the person I dreamed to be and feel even simple tasks I can’t complete…I have memory issues and concentration issues that at times affect my job performance and make me look foolish so I feel embarrassed…but I am not a failure, I am doing the very best I can with a very powerful illness.
new here. I feel that I fail at things often too. I try to over look other peoples short comings. I am out of work right now, but i think I am too hard on myself, I think, because my old line of work was very demanding and mistakes were so easly to make there. It was also a toxic enviroment. It does feel nice to be around people who acknowledge other people are human too.
