The first time I learned about sz was when my pdoc completed my insurance forms. That was about the same time as my diagnosis. I have never given thought or heard about sz before that. I started to google sz after my diagnosis.
I have an uncle whom I have known is schizophrenic. He’s brilliant, but unreliable and has some pretty far out ideas. I related to him because we’re both artists, and both “on the outside” so to speak, but never spent a lot of time with him. Most of the family avoids him. I didn’t know that I also have sz. I thought I am just really in-tune with God and aware of the spiritual dimension that is all around us, among other things. A few years ago, my son was taking a psychology class and told me that he thinks he has sz. I scoffed and told him not likely, but when he explained his experiences it was pretty convincing. That made me look at my own experiences more closely and to seek the help my son refused. I was finally diagnosed properly just six months ago, and it was like finally finding a pair of shoes that fit. Not shoes I wanted to wear, but that fit. I’ve done a lot of research since my son and my initial conversation about it.
Please ignore me in this space.
(Gosh Dang this stink headed iPad in the morning!)
That explains it for me too.
I first heard of it in 1994, when I was 12. I had been tumbling down for several months and ended up in the hospital. It was there that my pdoc at the hospital diagnosed me, and he sat me down for about 90 minutes and explained it to me. Imagine being 12 and being hit with that. Not fun.
I was misdiagnosed for years, but partly because I didn’t disclose ALL my crazy stuff to the many therapists over the years, and because I was delusional about a lot of it. The last two opportunities to be diagnosed, the doctors purposely avoided a diagnosis of sz. I was actually told, “it sounds like sz, but you have enough diagnosis, you don’t need more”. So irresponsible, even if it was to protect me from stigma and insurance problems. Anyway, when the doctor at the last psychiatric clinic finally said " you have schizophrenia" in the most apologetic way, I was grateful.
I wish I had known more about this illness before I got sick. That way I would have got help much earlier. I know of no family of mine with MI except for my niece who is bipolar. I wish I could relate to someone I know. That way I would not feel so alone in all of this. At least I can relate to the people on this site. I got my dx in January 2010
I don’t even know. I think I was really ignorant about it. I made some research on the subject I remember that when the thought broadcasting stopped. Of course it only came back stronger later on and by then I realized people were saying I had it but I didn’t want to believe it.
I can’t even begin to imagine that. To be so young and to get a life sentence of sz must be very troublesome on the mind of a child. I wish my pdoc had spend some time with me to explain to me what was going on. All that she told me was that I was delusional and paranoid.
I don’t know how old you are, but I wish I had been diagnosed earlier. When I was about 13, I told my mom that I was hearing demons, that they were all around me, that I was scared, wanted to kill myself and needed help. She didn’t know what to do. We never talked about it again and I suffered tremendously. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Diving deep into religion may have fed some delusions, but that’s also what saved me.
They only told me I had been psychotic at the time of my discharge from hospital. So I went home and googled “psychosis” and schizophrenia came up among the first results. I had a very bad feeling. I had heard about this illness but not in detail. In the following months I quickly developed negative symptoms and this fact has cemented my confidence in self-diagnosis. I really do have schizophrenia. Yucks. In the meantime several doctors have confirmed this diagnosis too.
I was first treated in a psychiatric hospital at age 25. At that time they gave the antipsychotic, Etomine for anxiety. I self medicated my anxiety with alcohol for many years. I started to become delusional and paranoid at age 35. I went unmedicated and undiagnosed for another 7 years. I was diagnosed at 42 and I’m now 48.
But atleast you knew what was going on. If the diagnosis was correct, then you had the information about why you were experiencing things… I had the symptoms and no diagnosis, so I just believed I was a bad/worthless person who attracted demons.
a friend of my dad had it when i was 18.once i met him on the street.wearing pj.i told my dad this.he visited him.that moment i had hard time in school.until many years when i have schizophrenia i ffinally understand that day why i met him .he wanna warn me becareful my friend because they will left me eventually.
Yeah, I’m 49 now. I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. We’re left on our own without the knowledge or capability, and yet we survive. You should feel pretty **** proud of yourself, I’d say. ️
I actually knew about psychosis for a while before I realized that I had it. I remember watching A Beautiful Mind (a movie about John Nash, a nobel-prize winning schizophrenic), and it never even crossed my mind that his experiences hallucinating about a general from the army could be like how I got interrogated by the FBI every night… Basically, it seemed obvious to me that he was sick, while I had let myself become spiritually corrupted. Only now looking back do I wonder if I should have been able to make the connection. In reality, I didn’t realize I was psychotic until the doctor at the hospital told me, and even then I wasn’t sure. Even now, there are days I’m not sure.
@galaxies, before my diagnosis I thought everyone else was delusional. I was familiar with the term delusional but not in the right context. People who plotted against me, those spying on me and those stalking me were All delusional in my mind. Then I got told by my psychiatrist that I am the delusional one. It took some time for me to accept that yet sometimes I wonder if my psychosis was brought on by third parties plotting against me or is it because I’m really that MI.
Probably when I was first diagnosed with sz, in 2003.
@Fellowman the knowledge prior illness didn’t help me (I had one subject from psychiatry at uni re mental health issues including schizophrenia). It didn’t change the tour of my life, didn’t save me from anything. I had no insight into my illness whatsoever. Only after my suicidal attempt I was admitted to hospital. Otherwise probably everybody would have been clueless for a long time… at least it was like that in my case. I know some people have more insight in their illness… only now after previous experience I can recognise red flags. But I believe they are different for everyone…
I don’t remember it, but I probably learned what sz was through my older brother. A lot of the things I thought about reality came filtered through him.