So, how was your first day when your schizophrenia started?
How did you react to it and what did you think what was going on?
In my case it kind of came on gradually. I count my first day of mental illness from my first day in high school my sophmore year. I got hit with this really, really crushing fear. Iâd sit in class so scared I thought something had to break inside me. From that point on my life got a lot colder. I cut myself off from most of my friends. I was barely functioning. I stayed that way all through high school. I didnât hallucinate or anything, but I sure was scared.
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I donât know the exact day but I remember when I first saw a spirit. We were living in Texas and at night I would see this old cowboy man walking the halls in our house and sometimes he would stand at more bedroom door.
Same time - we had just got our first tv and it had the rabbit ears with tinfoil you adjust to get a picture - sometimes it would go whitescreen and I would see people in it and they would be moaning.
I remember asking my mom about it all because I was a young kid around 11-12 and she told me the houses in our area was built on a former gravesite but they had moved them to the new cemetery in town - I remember telling her âthey didnât move everybodyâ.
After that - I have always seen and heard spirits.
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I donât know. But the day I became jesus and I was gone and then I was back to myself and then back to jesus as âgodâ chose toâŚat 4am when Iâm screaming and spazzing at my family that everyone will die if they go in my brothers room due to severe oppression of evil.
Yeah thatâs about when people told me I needed to go to the doctor. But thanks to highly religious parents they just told me it was demons and Satan.
Yaaaaaaay for me. 
Thankfully my parents understand now though
My old girlfriend showed up with a new boyfriend. I collapsed. It was the trigger for the illness, my withdrawal, my symptoms.
i;ve heard voices ever since i was a kid but i think my psychosis started when i just broke up with my new boyfriend and i heard the news that my ex died in a motorcyle accident. i think i just blocked all my emotions and i thought the government was spying on me, neighbors trying to poison me etc. it was really confusing. i just lost out of touch with reality.
It came on very gradually - showed up when I was 13 and had severe panic attacks for years, then when I was 18 I had a breakdown and was diagnosed a few months later. So I canât say there was a specific day it started.
My hallucinations and delusions started when i was very young, boobytrapping my bedroom for shadow people with legos. I can remember walking to school by myself always with headphones on and hearing people shouting my name always wondering who it was. 25 yrs later i find out it was me. My first real psychotic break i remember as a 15 yr old pacing the driveway, got into an argument with my dad because he thought i was on drugs which escalated into a full fist fight. Wasnt dxâd until 12 yrs later because my parents just blamed it on drugs when they should have gotten me help then. Was high functioning until i crashed and burned at 27 but looking back i now see the signs everyone else should have noticed much earlier, myself included. If i could only go back and change a few things, everything might have been much different today. Oh well. I do like who i have become and what i have accomplished in spite of my illness, and i have recently resounded myself to not become my illness. Take it all in stride i guess and just keep moving forward.
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it start with a dream.at noon i dreamed there is a tumor in the headălots pain in my dream.it was so much pain and i wake up but still feel the pain.then at night i start hear noises and everything start
I was 12 or 13 and becoming very religious. One evening I heard whispers in my closet. I opened the closet door and there was a little huddle of demons. They started verbally attacking me, telling me I belonged to Satan, etc. I cried, I pleaded, I prayedâŚI spoke in âtonguesâ, and this was long before I knew what that was⌠It was real. I was being attacked by evil because I was devoting my life to God. I was ashamed and didnât tell anyone for years because I thought I must be really bad to attract demons, and maybe what they were saying was true? I was always different, so even though I went from hanging out with friends who drank and smoked (in 7th grade) to someone who became obsessively Christian, my family just thought I was âborn againâ and didnât worry about it. They thought it was a religious experience, and so did I for a long long time.
I find this difficult to talk about. But it was around the time I was infatuated with a girl who was making some moves on me. Catfished basically. I expected we were together by psychic bonds and one day she did not show up like I expected her to. I got really paranoid and started seeing things. I made my friends take me home and I blacked out when my Dad greeted me and woke up strapped to a hospital bed.
While I was blacked out I seen tons of different colors. I think it was just all the emotions letting loose.
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Wasnât it? 1515
my depression was at its lwest point for probably 3 years very suicidal all of the time , sometime attempting it, also self harm, i then started thinking that people were following me and the cameras were watching me. the cops and whatnot scared me.this has still continued it started about 2 years ago, i started thinking grandiosely and it just got worse i just got more âdelusionsâ as time goes on⌠my depression has stabilized a biit,
I believe, now, that it was/is a combination of both. I try to decipher between the two because I donât want to live in delusion.
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Thatâs very different from my experience because all the things I see and believe disappear. They never stay around for very long so I expect them to be delusions or something I made up with my mind.
Because my relationship with God is so important to me, I have to find a way to maintain my faith while also acknowledging the parts of my experience that my mind is simply creating.
I also keep aspects that may be sz, but I waver on the validity. My angel companion fits with my faith, even the fact that I can see, hear and feel him. But, I must acknowledge that his sometimes abusive treatment of me isnât Biblical. And the fact that heâs in exactly the same place (at my right shoulder) all the time for years, makes me consider that maybe my mind created him.
I didnât acknowledge this until fairly recently. Itâs an improvement in my thinking.
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Mine started in high school when I was 16 or 17. Or maybe 18. I had some problems but I was functioning OK . Looking back I can see that it started and gradually, subtly got worse. No one around me like friends and family ever imagined it would turn into mental illness or schizophrenia.
Whatâs really bizarre to me now is that I took so much of what was happening to me in stride and I didnât freak out about it.
If I had to pick a day that there was a turning point it would be when I took too much LSD and had a bad, horrible trip when I was 19. I think that triggered my schizophrenia but I had been reaching this point for years and even after the bad trip I was still living my life fairly normally. and that was when things got serious. But I was still going to work, I was out on my own sharing an apartment with my older sister, I had a car, I got out a lot. Mental illness was still not considered by my friends or family.
I knew I was really screwed up but I just kept on living my life. I moved back in with my parents when I was 19. I liked to sit around watching TV. I used to go jogging, I was still working. I even got a job a a security guard, even with all this sh*t going on. lol.
But then my parents arranged for me to see a therapist. I didnât protest, I didnât refuse, there was no big scenes. They told me to go so I went. This is what I mean about taking things in stride. I didnât put up a fuss. I knew I had problems but I didnât feel crazy, everything that was going on was so normal. Going to a therapist for me was as normal as going to a dentist or physical doctor. Anyways, I eventually wound op in a psyche ward which is a whole different story.
The earliest recollection I have involving sz was when I was 19. I was driving to college one morning with a friend in the passenger seat. While listening to the radio I began to hear voices. At first I thought the radio station had left the microphone on during the song and that the people in the radio station were talking over the song. My friend couldnât hear it though. I was a normal person back then so my friend believed me and I thought it was real as well. I figured maybe it was some frequency I picked up on or something. But it wasnât⌠and my life would never be the same again. Thatâs when I first experienced symptoms of schizophrenia.
my first day was in school. I remember I began to hear voices in the engineering lab. I looked around and on one else was talking. it was freaky. but that was mild compared to how bad it got later on.
There was no first day that I know of, have always been mentally ill just got worse as I aged. Took till age 48 to explode, but extreme stress that I went threw just amplifies the condition. Stress can actually put you on the edge or drive you to insanity if untreated.