I have SZA and I can say without a doubt when I was hypomanic/manic I absolutely loved it. Now on Invega shot and have anhedonia so don’t feel much pleasure from pleasurable activities, when I do get a burst of euphoria (which doesn’t last long) I crave and daydream about being hypomanic/manic again. Is this normal.
Yeah this is normal. I have bipolar 1 with psychotic traits so I can relate. I had anhedonia the times I was depressed and wished I was hypomanic at times. The thing about hypomania is that reckless decisions are typically made when experiencing it and especially when fully manic. If you go any type of manic, it is very likely you will end up in a worst state afterwards. Mentally and situationally.
Depressive episodes typically follow manic episodes. So if you go manic you could very easily result in worse anhedonia. And you will definitely deal the effects of whatever reckless decisions you made while manic. I know I still deal with the social and physical effects of last time I went manic.
The best you could do is follow a routine of doing rewarding and healthy things so your mind eventually works past the anhedonia. That’s what I did at least and it has helped me. I program, do music, go on walks and talk to people. I was going to get back into weight training too. Maybe there are some stuff you have in mind that can help you too.
I think so, my friend with bipolar type sza recently was telling me she wanted to be manic because she was better at school and socially that way.
I used to get very intense euphoria, the excitement used to build up in my chest until I had to physically squeal to release the excitement. There was nothing like it. Its engraved in my brain because I am endeavoured to feel like that again. I really miss it.
I used to have fond memories from when I was sick. I don’t encourage you to dwell on it…let it go and accept that you are schizophrenic…I tell myself that sometimes so I keep taking my medicine.
I’m Sza bipolar type and I absolutely dread hypomania and mania. I hate it. When I get either way I spend too much money, I laugh uncontrollably all night and day long at nothing in particular, I get really chatty and talk non stop about nothing, if I am driving, I drive too fast and get speeding tickets, I talk too loud and interrupt people when they are talking, I get really argumentative and irritable, and snap at everyone, I can’t sleep and stay up for days on end. I get super sexual and will go to bed with most anyone. None of this is pleasant and all of it is highly embarrassing. I think I would almost rather be a little depressed than be hypomanic.
I spend excessively - I once spent 7 grand in 10 days on hotels and alcohol for me and my (user) friends.
I visit travel agents and book expensive holidays abroad. If I can’t afford the full cost of the holiday I pay the deposit. I never go on the holidays and lose all my money.
I brought all the harry potter auto books that cost £400. I hate harry potter!
I got taken to court and and had my money taken off me through appointeeship/court of protection. Social services manage the money.
I have the worst racing thoughts and neologisms = word salad.
When I was in nurses training, I learned that mania was the flip side of depression. In other words, it was different sides of the same coin.
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