Thanks for sharing,
I think these stories are so intriguing.
We all have the same diagnosis and its manifested in a thousand different ways,
Fascinating!
And thanks for the boobie luck, my surgeon knows I’m real cray cray, so he won’t mess it up…
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I’m not sick at all 
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A few weeks after I went into ER asking for an assisted suicide and was certified I began to seriously entertain the notion that I was not well. I lived in denial for many many years regarding my SzA. When I was first diagnosed I refused to believe it and simply thought that those doctors didn’t much like me.
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I was always a really energetic intense person all my life…I was really funny all my life…always making people laugh has always cheered me up. anyways…I was prodromal about three years finally nearing the age of 35 and one weekend I ended up in the hospital…I thought the t.v. was telling me to get a psychiatrist…so I did…immediately checked into a mental ward…long story…
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@jukebox that’s nice that your voices helped you go get help, ive never heard of that happening before.
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I grew up with two siblings who also hallucinated, so I had no clue it was abnormal. I just went through life thinking I was a life-sucking demon in the shape of a person for the longest time, and it never struck me as odd. The thing that finally made me get help was when I was at my sister’s wedding. I wanted to be very happy and excited for her, but I just felt dead inside. I knew that wasn’t normal. So I asked my friend about it, and she said it sounded like I had schizophrenia. Then I asked a doctor about it, and he agreed. And I was like, “huh, okay, cool. So it has a name and it’s treatable. I’m not a demon. Best news ever!”
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Had a history of depression and weird thinking but survived ok till I was 29. Over the course of a month or so I slid into psychosis. Insidious onset as the dr calls it. It was weird and very surreal…avoided the wards but thought something was up when I realised that the television was talking to me and giving me messages. That was a …oh. Somethings up. Took a while before I finally asked my shrink if I had schizophrenia!
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I knew everyone else thought I had a problem when I was like 8. I didn’t really realize/admit it til I was like 20 though.
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So wait Goldenrex I wanna know your story!
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You sound just like me. Also recovering from Matrix Syndrome.
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Can relate greatly. Even meth sounds healthier for the mind than Adderall imo. Garbage drug made to get people addicted. Vyvanse is fan-■■■■■■■-tactic.
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To a large degree I still don’t understand that there might be something wrong about the way i think.
It’s the people in my life who believe I have schizophrenia. But I love them so I go to the pdoc who tells me the way I think is because I have schizophrenia.
And I take pills because shit) can get pretty scary.
But I don’t recocile anything really being wrong or different about me.
Oh apart from being terrible with stressful situations.
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I was always connected to the Supernatural even as a kid.
Had paranoia and magical thinking through my teens.
Finally knew I was Schizophrenic after I took Mescaline.
Started having intense paranoia afterwards and delusions.
Saw a psychiatrist and was placed on Navane.
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it started with getting strange ideas. One was an unnatural crush i had on my friends sister. I had known her and my friend for years and never thought of her as someone i would date. The other thing was i thot video games were evil after playing them all my life. Then it hit me after i stopped playing that i didnt enjoy doing anything anymore. I came to the realization my mind was ■■■■■■ and i needed to see a psychiatrist.
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I never realized it myself until a close friend told me. They said they could see me fade away into my own “F**ked up world” as they described it. I however refuse to believe I am sick. That of course could be a dillusion all in itself I’m aware but I feel there was something always to be said about experiencing that which nobody else can. As a human being we learn from everything that we can consciously witness and react to. Whether it be the great things in life or the horrors that proceed us in our sleep. I hear psychologists often use the words “imbalance of chemicals” however if there is a balance considered normal, why are none of us the same? I guess I’m just trying to say seeing yourself as sick can be a good step towards bettering yourself and finding the help you need. However I’d caution you on letting others call you so, seems people can be quicker to dismiss us if they can make a conclusion like that.
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When I was 18, it was 2 years that I wasn’t able to go to school or go out of my home and therefore I started to think that there was something wrong in my brain…
After some blood tests, MRI and inspections my GP sent me to a psychiatrist… 
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I knew something was badly wrong when I was fifteen. I started getting this really intense fear. I would sit in class and think I was so scared that something inside me was bound to break. It might sound stupid now to be so scared of nothing, but it was overwhelming to me. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was twenty-eight, though.
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I grew up as schizotypal, loner, weird, with magical thinking and great obsession with spirituality & religion. at 27 I was diagnosed with sz after some delusions & voices.
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When I look back I’ve been on and off medication since I was about 20. First for depression, then bipolar, and now sza. Each new dx was a shock at the time. I used to read about depression, then I read a book by Kay Jamison on bipolar, and now im in this forum.
When the paranoia a hallucinations hit I had no insight and thought it was 100% real for probably 6 months. Part of this lack of insight was due to the fact that my voices made me keep repeating that it was real, over and over and over like a mantra. Eventually they told me it was a game (thank you voices), and I got on meds.
You probably wonder why I didn’t get on meds earlier. Well 2 reasons: I had been seeing my psychiatrist weekly for the longest time but he got sick with a broken hip. 2. Even then it took me a month of appointments to even bring it up.
it can be quite scary when hallucinations first hit and you have no insight, freaked me out completely
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i knew there was something wrong in the very begining at about 15yrs old but i didnt know how to deal with it and it got worse.
i bought these huge heavy boots and a big heavy school bag and it was just stupid, idk why i did that but that was the start of it.
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