Did you tell yourself you’re like them or that you don’t belong there?
Seeing other szics in mental hospital made me feel bad and I told myself its impossible that I am like them and that thats how I will be the future, talking to my voices alone etc
Now with insight I can see that I was like them when off meds, talking to my voices, pacing around, acting crazy, saying non sense word salad, etc
I wasn’t aware I was in a hospital the first time 
Now I think I’m alike them, even with differences.
I look for similarities not differences in people
Even unmedicated, I appeared to be one of the most grounded people on the last psych ward I was in. Even though I had crazy thoughts, I did not appear as outwardly crazy as some of the other patients. I spent most conversations I had with the nurses and not the patients so much. So, I guess my reaction was avoidance.
I remember stealing my roomate’s lighter thinking it was worth 1 million$. He asked me about it I told him I never saw it. The next day I realized how stupid it was so I gave it back to him, he just tapped me on the shoulder and said thanks.
I remember my roommate stole a pack of Marlboros first time in the ward.
I confronted him and he said he didn’t and wtf
Then I saw an empty pack of Marlboros. I was the only one with Marlboros
It had JUST a Newport inside. Which is what this guy smoked
I go and lit it up. There was no tobacco but just matches. It burst up in flames and almost lit my face on fire
Sometimes just cuz you’re paranoid doesn’t mean it ain’t true. Huh
It made me sad.
I was in there with a guy who thought he was talking to Jesus.
Just paced the halls talking religious nonsense.
Another guy that just sat around shaking his head.
I was upset for them and scared for me, thinking I could be like that one day.
I’ve never seen another schizophrenic, at the hospital, with as much insight as me.
They’re usually pretty bad off.
Depressing.
I was like that off meds.
I was really out of it my first time in the hospital. Everyone seemed sane to me. I was the looney toon.
Most of the patients there that came up to me and befriended me were bipolar.
Most of the schizophrenic patients there were too low functioning to socialize.
I was scared like hell. I asked myself “why am i here?”
Then I was transferred to another ward to a four bedroom, with an ex member of Hells angels, a pyromaniac and a deeply autistic man. All schizos. During the next week I slowly realized that I was sick and the anxiety waned.
You have those in Europe?
Yes, @Aziz they are extremely violent in Scandinavia. Especially during the war against bandidos…
the guy had snorted so much heroin (yes you can snort heroin) that his bones in his nose were gone and when he was sleeping he snored the loudest I have ever heard.
I had a prisoner roomate, he stole my nike shoes but I told security and they gave me them back.
I was so zombified when I was in hospital. I didn’t understand my own diagnosis, I had zero insight. I didn’t talk to anyone and can’t remember anyone except my psychiatrist.
I knew nothing about any other person or what they were there for.
I remember feeling akward for just laying down and sleeping because of negatives and sedation from the Clopixol injections.
I thought I was a prisoner of war in the hospital. I was definitely very messed up. But some other people were worse off. I just didn’t talk. I was afraid to speak. I thought I was fine and everyone else was crazy
I really couldn’t tell what most people were diagnosed with except a few. One hospital I went to I was pretty bad off. I was majorly depressed, I had just tried to kill myself and pissed off that I didn’t succeed, I just got into bed and stayed there except to go to the bathroom. But there was this man who was delusional and he was very vocal and very loud and he would pace the hall non-stop blathering. I just wanted it quiet. I had a headache, my head was noisy, the ward was noisy, I just couldn’t take it. At one point I tried to go after him over something and a very large male nurse physically restrained me. When I was getting ready to go home he came up to the window at the nurses station and started in and I turned to him and said if you don’t shut the fukc up I’m going to kill you. The nurse then threatened me that I had to calm down or I wasn’t going home.
Another person whom I knew their diagnosis was woman borderline. Classic. She befriended me and at one point bragged about fooling around with one of the young male patients half her age in the bathroom. She was there because her boyfriend killed himself and she was beside herself with grief and feeling triggered. I didn’t think it was a healthy situation so I reported it to a nurse. As it turned out that young male patient had problems keeping his hands to himself and that’s why he always had to sit by himself. He had been inpatient for 3 months. Anyway this borderline figured out it was me that told and wasn’t too happy with me. But she didn’t make a scene or anything.
I just remember that the other patients were all different, one from another. I was glad not to be alone anymore. Only one was threatening. She had been in a car accident.
I’ve seen people in really bad shape in the psych wards. I don’t relate to them. Maybe I do have things in common with them and I don’t judge them, but I feel like there are people worse off than me
I expected the sick ones to look and act sick and whacked out (they didn’t disappoint). I was horrified that the “healthy” ones that were shown to me as good examples of treatment success were basically useless, fleshy, medicated lumps that just sat there blinking at an abnormal rate. They looked like upright coma victims to me, really.
“You want me to spend the rest of my life LIKE THAT?”
Depressing AF man.
I was called a Jesus Freak. I became religious I guess after being taunted and feared and harassed by the criminals there.