My first job was making pizza and doing related stuff. I had no work experience and the owner gave me a chance. It was a franchise. I did other stuff besides making pizza like phone and cashier. It wasn’t enough hours and I was slow. I had trouble finding a job. I guess it was during the great recession. I had a high school diploma, but no one would hire me. I felt low.
I then worked in retail where I made more. I really enjoyed it and learned a lot. I quit and then went to community college and became a tutor for ease and money. It was min wage being a tutor. I did well, I guess.
I also assisted my step-father in his small business sometimes. It wasn’t much, but I appreciate him caring about me. He’s an engineer.
I only have 1-3 years of work experience part time. I put all my efforts into getting into a university and transferring. I did well. Lots of awards and stuff. High community college grades.
In hindsight, I was getting my life together and starting. Schizophrenia happened, and I lost all contact with ‘friends’. I lost a lot of mental abilities. I put all my eggs in one basket: my brain. I was doing math and I struggled.
I went to a good school. I was below average in the math department at a top 15-20 school. I did well in business, finance, and electives. I guess I was experiencing cognitive decline. I struggled with life skills like multitasking and losing efficiency.
I feel like a failure. I barely function now. I don’t want to live my diagnosis and live in the past.
I have a lot of visual recall memory loss. I have a lot of false memories, I guess. They are called delusions.
Maybe I should have went to a school closer or stayed an economics major or business major. I don’t regret it because I cannot change the past.
I didn’t have a lot of support from my family and had to take out loans. I was a fish out of water. A round peg in a square hole or w/e.
I feel stupid and an idiot. I feel ashamed.
I’m over school now. It’s the past. I thought I had asperger’s but most doctors say I don’t. I have schizophrenia/sza. I take medication, but it doesn’t return me to baseline or my previous self. I even thought I was treatment resistant before.
I was told I would have got schizophrenia anyways in life even if it wasn’t for me smoking pot. It would have happened anyways…maybe later in life…but it doesn’t matter anymore.
I never graduated. I currently cannot work right now.
I started working at around 18 years old. I stopped working at 20 years old. I dropped out of college at 22 years old.