What was you childhood like?
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My childhood was sweet for the most part. There was some trauma but it was over with early. There was some drama but it was mostly to do with teenage hormones. But the most of it was sweet with lots of good times with the family. We went to the park, to the beach and had BBQ’s and holiday dinners. Christmas and Thanksgiving was always at our house and lots of people came. There was always lots of presents and lots of food. The tooth fairy and Easter Bunny always came. I was close with my cousins and we got to play together every weekend while the parents visited and played cards. I was very close with a couple of my Aunties. I live close by one of them to this very day and keep an eye on her.
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I couldn’t have asked for anything better when it comes to my childhood and early teens.
While post Soviet occupation days wasn’t really that pleasant. But now when I think about it, that struggle, it was the only time when I was genuinely thriving. Also, having to grow up with hundreds of friends around you, it was really a blessing.
Lately I’ve been looking to a picture of my home where I was growing up. I find it to be one of few places where I go when I need some solitude, maybe because I’ve walked every inch in that photo when I was a kid, and because I had the most warm/action-packed memories there, and that comforts me a lot.
So this is how I’m going to rebuild myself, by remembering, and by knowing who I truly am, and working on myself extra hard to achieve it. The reason i’m spilling out myself here is to hold myself accountable for my own promises that I make, and also learn to open up, and overcome my paranoia of unfamiliar people.
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I had very good parents. But they told me I started phasing out around 4, they would call me, snap their fingers in front of my face and I was out, not answering. Later one, still pretty young, I started having suicidal thoughts and walls would move as if they were breathing. I turned from a happy full of life child to a secluded anxious child around 8.
But I think, despite from that, I had a blessed childhood, we weren’t poor, we had a dog, we had a big garden, I never fought with my brother, we would go running, fishing or looking for mushrooms with my father. My father would make me listen to queen, led zeppelin, jimi hendrix, the doors. On sundays, we always had a very good meal (a roast, a nice piece of meat or fish). I would spend time both outside or on the playstation with my brother. Then my father gifted me my first guitar. I think this was the best day of my life. I started practicing a lot. It was compulsive, i would not go out or go drink with my friends, i would stay in my room practicing.
I was a very shy boy with girls.
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My childhood was horrible with some good mixed in
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It would have looked good from the outside I’m sure.
But I come from a broken home and have problems from it. I’m 38 years old and I’m not sure who was in charge of raising me. My dad flaked off around 8th grade, and my mom doesn’t know much about the world we live in, so I didn’t learn much from her.
I feel like I got left behind. But I’m schizophrenic now so all of that doesn’t matter much
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Awkward, embarrassing, fun and mostly without issue aside from my dad being a jerk
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