What to do

I have tried ever thing to resolve this problem - This problem being Life as a Schizo…All the relationships, drugs, jobs, distractions…I dislike the alienation , stigma & isolation. I can eat healthy , exercise & further define goals but after so many failures , short comings and let downs I feel there is nothing left to do , no reason to try to do anything to further my life. I have so many thoughts and ideas of what to do with the rest of my life and there mostly impulsive and fleeting…I have achieved quite a bit in my life by any standard. I’m tired of my daily life - It’s redundant , boring, predictable and drab. On one hand I should be grateful for what I have and on the other hand I should be working a ton lot harder for a more fulfilling life. Being honest about myself here is one thing but appealing to life in real life about why life is so hard sometimes is not possible. No one who doesn’t suffer from SZ would understand and most would judge. I keep moving around the united states looking to be happier and it’s not even working - I may settle down with someone , I don’t know what I’ll do

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