Today I felt very pessimistic about myself. Thinking that I was pathetic, weak and just a pile of human garbage. I hated my mom for bringing me to this world with such shi-tty genes. These genes should have been weeded out a long time ago. Now I have to pay the price.
If it’s not voices bullying me then it’s me doing this to myself.
I just don’t know anything anymore. I wish I was dead already to end this suffering.
If you guys are recommending an antidepressant them know I’m already on paxil.
Days like these stuck.
Neither of my parents, nor no one else in my family has schizophrenia. No one could have predicted that I would get the right gene combination to have sz.
I would suggest some sort of therapy or self help techniques, whether thats cbt or something else to try to stop these thoughts in their tracks. That is if antidepressants arent helping. IDK.
@Speedy , I could have written that today. Some days are just bad, you’re not alone.
For what it’s worth , something that helps me on days like this is :
Setting a timer on my phone for 45 minutes and taking a 45 minute nap. That seems to really help.
I wonder if the changing of the seasons is exacerbating the problem.
It’s not the sz bothering me. It’s the damn anxiety and panic attacks. Anxiety and panic attacks run in the family.
Could be? But I don’t think my destructive thinking is a part of it. Naps do help sometimes.
I just feel like a utter failure.
Well there really are only a few options that I can think of for anxiety and panic attacks. Meds, therapy and self help of some kind to help with the thoughts.
Unless you want to go the more drastic routes of like ect or something
Sorry you are struggling.
YOur best bet is to ask your doc.
The way I look at it sometimes, is I’m in the survival game now. Not the collecting trophy game.
We’re not like everyone else, we’re fighting and both our hands are tied behind our backs.
So it’s a good idea to pick our fights. I’ve had to pick the “staying sane and alive” fight.
I would love to have some socially accepted successes but I can still do without them.
I take BuSpar, Cogentin, and Hydroxyzine every night. Haven’t had a panic attack in like a year. Only negative is dry mouth.
Thank you for those wise words. I should remind myself that I’m ill and trying to survive in some way.
I wouldn’t be thinking like this if I was missing a limb or had cancer. When it comes to MI I keep blaming myself.
Doc doesn’t want to change my meds. He said I’m already on the full dosage of paxil and olanzapine. I’m also on vraylar.
If I only could stop being so neurotic and filled with anxiety.
believe me if you focus on what you study
or what you work in ?!
you will have no time to be pessimistic or so
try to have skills as much as you can
i suggest to you to read this
this will help you so much i think
if you can show your mentally ill and get governmental aids and stay at home do whatever you want … so you can recover fast and be fine and living better life !!!
work or study is stress put to your brain so you become strong and having stronger mind
even if you work part time this is so better than staying at home and do nothing
if you work for free most of time this is better than part time becoz your brain is under stress
and mind is like muscle really i read this in a book
chess players are so intelligent becoz they played chess for many many times and put their brain under stress so many times and learned chess tricks and rules
so learning an…
it is all about not to give up
not to lose in life
Your brain is your playground.
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