So Since February 2015 I got hit with sudden PTSD or racing thoughts -very negative, or very intrusive. It has ruined my life almost completely that I no longer enjoy my day. It becomes a misery.
I think August 2015 I switched to Latuda and it was one year of disaster. I started talking to myself - repeat out loud the ugly thoughts. I do not have auditory hallucinations but this may be even worse.
So one year of Latuda, it got worse by day until in December 2016 I decided to go on Abilify injection.
So I got 80-90% better and much more stable and my talking to myself stopped almost 60% of the time or more
If I keep a diary of my thoughts or record myself I might cry. Everyday I am alone, at my desk and angry and bitter for thoughts which are not even logical anymore. I am not sure what I am angry at and for what. The reason is so stupid. Yes some people hurt me, but it was not as majestic as it may seem.
Now next step, I need to stop these thoughts once and for all. If I have no thoughts, I do not talk to myself.
Anybody has a recommendation?
I saw a neurologist and they checked and found nothing wrong with me at all. The doc said it could be a tic disorder which I can try taking medication for.
Right now I am 80 mg Geodon at night + 300 mg Wellbutrin in the morning.
If I meditate and focus, I am not angry or bitter. But while multitasking, my thoughts automatically drift into the wormhole and just ruin my life. I have been struggling with this since 2015.
You can’t hold two thoughts in your head at the same time, so instead of focusing on the thoughts you want to forget, which automatically makes you focus more on them,
Divert them.
Think of something else.
Develop a keyword that automatically makes you divert your attention from what you don’t want, and fill it with something you do want.
It takes practice, but what better things to practice on?
Everytime the thing comes up-
0h l00ky…something shiny!
When you have lots of thoughts that overwhelm you why not try shifting your focus on a mundane autonomic response like the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe? Watch and sense it with disinterest for a few minutes not making any judgements about it one way or another. Slow down for a few minutes when you have time to spare and give it a go. Thoughts can’t harm you whether they come in twos, fives or even tens. It is easy and you don’t have to necessarily ‘feel’ anything. Perhaps a little reassured that you are still alive and everything’s fine.
Maybe try another anti-depressant. Wellbutrin made me angry when I was on it. Whenever I have a major break, I get intrusive/obsessive thoughts that drive me crazy. My doctor recommended escitalopram and it works really well (thank goodness). I still get it sometimes but not as bad as I used to. Zoloft is supposed to be good for this too. I don’t know your medication history is but if you haven’t tried any of the above, check out reviews online. I find that medication is the only thing that really helps for this sort of thing.
I find having an animal as sort of a therapeutic outlet is always good for me, it distracts me and helps me feel better, even if the animal wasn’t taught to be a therapy animal.
My puppies and cat always make me feel better when I feel distressed.
breathing can change your brain chemistry from what I’ve heard. Try the 5 5 7 method. If you practice it’s easy to evoke when needed. I’m still trying to get good at this as I’ve just learned it. that’s breathe in for a count of five, hold for a count of five then breathe out for a count of seven. Try it. then try to remember 5 5 7 when you get those thoughts.
