What made me so dependent is

Scared of my own masochism. It ran in the family.

You’re a masochist? Have you sought therapy for that? In what ways are you masochistic?

I used to tear my skin off with my fingernails. I mentioned to the pdoc but he did not go anywhere with it. Like he thought it was good enough just to admit it. He was a man of pride.

Throw in a selfish desire to die anytime the chips are down and I’m a real mess.

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I used to cut myself. But I stopped when I realized it really didn’t do me any good and the scars made people judge me

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Yes. You started caring what people think of you. That is real progress. I still feel I’m too far gone to care.

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I still struggle with self harm. I think about it all the time. :fox_face::fox_face::fox_face:

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You’re not too far gone. You can work on it still

Yes. But only a little bit. My dreams mustn’t get too big.

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