Yeah the voices kept telling me to give myself a brain hemorrhage by slamming my head against the wall of the cell, which I did repeatedly. Got myself a brain scan after getting out to make sure there was no permanent damage, the doc said everything looked good.
Its a managable situation
Its not a death sentence like everyone makes out to be, unless it becomes your hobby and u create an obession.
Atleast you have some character
I definitely never want to go back to jail. The feeling of having to be incredibly careful about what is said with other inmates so as not to get into trouble. As I’m Mexican, I had to answer to gang members who ran the place inside. I got jumped once by three gang members within the first two days when they transferred me. It was a customary beating. Afterwards they shook my hand. I’m thankful I never joined gangs or I’d have a bigger problem in there.
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Dude that place is freaking full of gangbangers. That’s what had me so scared. My cellmate was another white guy who looked like he might have been recently homeless. I got thrown in the hole almost instantly after I said “no” to the very, very angry guard who was barking orders to us. I guess I’m a Karen lol.
Honestly as horrible as the hole is, at the time I thought it preferable to being amongst the bangers.
I think it may have been honestly. In most modules I got along well enough until they sent me to where the violent offenders were. That place was the worst. There was a fight almost every day.
I never got commissary because I didn’t want to deal with jail politics. Never asked for anything either because they will hold you accountable for the smallest thing and expect payment. Eventually I got to the psychiatric wing where I got a job cleaning and handing out the meals. Due to the Covid epidemic everyone was forced to eat their meals inside the cell so I was one of the people who would hand them out. Things went better for me there because at the end we’d have extra meals and so I’d hand the extras out and kept the other inmates relatively happy with me.
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Whenever they ask me what a psychotic break looks like, I say the same thing.
Hell on earth
Oh I remember getting a double dinner once! I was so happy, wondered what the occasion was. Only happened once.
I never got commissary either, and they took my underwear away a month in. So I had no underwear or socks for four months.
The worst part is if you ever do something that makes them think you’re trying to harm yourself, they strip you naked and put this heavy quilted suit on you. I was just playing with the sheets because I thought there were animals in them, and they assumed I was planning to hang myself or something and the next thing I know I’m naked 
Jails in this country need some serious reform. I can only imagine prison is worse.
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THIS.
Edit: So do psychiatric hospitals. No other illness are you considered a criminal.
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When you have extreme psychosis.
Then Cisordinol can be used. It has a lot of side effects.
I think so. Maybe you get punishment, because of it.
Like dragging your mind across a cheese grater
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