I am concentrating on the good side of my life while picking the theme and the name of the theme is…
Rushing
Started at the age of 18/19
Resentment since an early age. Lack of experience to deal and help with what I was put up against. survival and ambition.
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Before psychosis: enthusiasm for life down to the smallest things like nature. After psychosis: resentment, envy, loneliness, addiction.
Ever since I was a young child, I always felt I was superior to other people. Like I actually thought I was superior. I stopped feeling like that after I started taking an antipsychotic at 21 for some reason. Now I find my self thinking that a lot of normal people are in fact superior to me. Especially talented people.
Also I’ve had a lot of disturbing things happen to me.
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Suffering my butt off, since I was 15 yrs old.
I partied like a rockstar in my 20s and up to mid 30s. Was the life of the party. Had many friends a good job and a great family.
Then sz came at 38 (2008 for me) and changed my life. I became reclusive have no social life, quit drinking and partying, and I try to be in bed every night by 8 pm but I can finally say that I am a functional schizophrenic holding down two jobs right now. I still have a great family.
I started taking Latuda in 2015 when I was 45 and that changed my life. I was a complete mess from 2008 to 2015.
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After psychosis: some hope
Before psychosis would be promising, quiet and stable. After psychosis, a miserable squashed thing and trying to find my peace.
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Being a pushover, before and after psychosis.
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