The extreme fatigue disables me.
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Helpful people have always posed the biggest danger to my recovery. Theyāre the ones who tell you not to try anything because you might stress yourself out and get sicker.
āDonāt try that, youāll just make your condition worse.ā
āOh no, you canāt possibly work with SZ.ā
āThereās no way you could ever handle being a parent.ā
Guess what? Having SZ is stressful, full stop. Being poor also sucks arse. I figure if Iām going to be stressed, itās with a wife, a kid, and a large enough income that I have some toys to distract myself. Which I pulled off.
Sending out a massive UP YOURS to every naysayer who verbally tried to stand in the way of that. Bunch of bloody tossers, youāre no help at all.
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My biggest problem in trying to recover was getting over my paranoia. That hung on and on for many years.
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psychologists and therapists. CBT, DBT, EMDR, psycho-dynamic, Jungianā¦ all of them did so much damage to my self esteem, confidence, hope, ability to trust people and to connect to reality. Iāve only got back into employment staying a long way away from them and being on apās.
same
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My other biggest problem in recovery is lack of support. I think that is really bad. It makes things hundreds of times more challenging.
I wish I had someone that could be there for me on a daily basis or alternating daily basis maybe is better.
This website has somewhat helped, seeing everyone support people on things I can relate to.
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Iām lucky that medication works really well for me. Except for the side effects. I have almost zero energy, and Iāve gained 100+ lbs. over the years. I can still work, with the help of large amounts of caffeine. Recently dropped my AP dosage (after talking to pdoc), which seems to be helping quite a bit with the energy, if not the weight.
Isolation is my other big issue. I canāt tell anyone at work about my illness for fear of losing my job. And I only have a couple of friends, who I only get to hang out with every couple of months or so. No energy or motivation to go out meeting new people, either.
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I had that with a book Iād taken in during a spell as an inpatient. Was told in so many words it would overload my brain. Being even less self confident than I am now I took it to heart.
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I guess right now, lack of motivation and drive and focus. I cannot focus on reality and improving myself.
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After the psychotic episode, I became stuck in my suffering and depression. It took me years to regain confidence and a positive outlook, but I understood somehow that I had to put more effort in my recovery.
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Voices putting ideas in my mind, confusing me, telling me Iām not sick, picking on me, telling me Iām chosen. The thought itās all real and Iām not sick really messes with me.
Iāve insight enough to want to take my medication every day. So thatās something, I donāt want the bullies or angels, I donāt want the confusion.
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I used to be convinced it was all real and I wasnāt sick too, it was a strange comfort to know that I couldnāt possibly be that sick, I didnāt blame myself it was always someone elseās fault. Donāt get me wrong Iām glad Iām that sick and it wasnāt real at least theirs medication to battle it before I had no hope of it stopping.
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The biggest problem was to express myself in a way the doctors could understand what is going on in my head. The lingo.
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My biggest problem is visions.
Another is every time I fail I kick my own arse for it like, starting over- for example if I were to walk 100 miles and get out of breath after 15 miles do I have to start all over again from the beginning?? Stupid metaphor but getting back on track is hard for me 
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