What forms a frienship? Time spent or common interests?

I read somewhere that spending time with a person is even more crucial for developing friendship than common interests. Does it mean that time is just better than quality time?

What do you think? spending time vs. common interests?


I think time is important. My friend and I have been friends since about age 7. We’ve spent lots of time together. Which is why we’re still friends.

We only have a few common interests, but we still get along very well. I love taking to her, hearing what’s going on in her life.

My husband is my best friend. We spend an incredible amount of time together. But we also have a lot in common. So, common interests is important.

But you can have friendships with people you don’t share a lot of interests with.

But at the same time, I think friendships are stronger if you spend time together AND you have the same interests and similar opinions.

Just my thoughts, though.


Well said! @Blossom


I think time is important too to build trust and understanding

Even if not having common interests, one can learn from one another


Well said, for me is somewhat contrary to common sense the fact that just spending time with someone can make a friendship. Maybe it´s because I don´t have childhood friends.


What drags you to that person if you don´t have common interests?

Yea good point. Nothing really. :grin:

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Maybe opposite interests can start a friendship through curiosity.
But I think its easier with common interests.


But if there is curiosity… Does that not imply interest?


Hmmm i think it just takes one person to have curiosity and then it just happens. Like if one party is open minded and wants to learn about something new, the other person probably enjoys sharing and boom. Start of a friendship. I’m reall full of sh&&


Lol you made me laugh. Thanks :hugs:


My best friends and cousins either all moved or i moved basically when i had my mental illness start badly with major depression i locked myself away from everyone :upside_down_face: i had an eating disorder as well. Lost almost everything including religious beliefs it all took a huge toll i was only 15 yrs
When i worked and moved around i had a few friends but now i can’t handle people very well. Im social phobia thats for sure.

Basically i think friends that stick around are the best

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Id probably say love, because love is unity and a platonic friendship is a kind of union. Romantic love is also based on love.

Love given bonds people i think.


Its intuitive connection. Vibes and conversation. All that good stuff.


Time spent makes sense. I think common interests can form the spark, but time spent is what makes it for the long haul.


I think a connection.

Feeling good vibes from and towards each other for each other.

You can have opposite political and moral beliefs and still be the closest of loved ones despite disagreements.

Sometimes humour brings some people together if they find same thing funny but your closest can have a different sense of humour than you too .

You are nice to each other.

You can spend time with people and not like each other that much just look at some family…

Maybe if they are abusive n disrespectful and have hostile energy at you that’s why.

Sometimes it just feels right.

My closest partner I should marry but we are spiritual and it is as it is so no marriage is needed to prove that n plus what religion etc

I have one friend Anders I talk with once a fortnight but he doesn’t have internet.

I have another friend Mohamed but we only say g’day once a year on message.

I have one female friend but we don’t have contact really.
She married n had kids n work etc and I think she prefers others like herself nowadays.
We don’t really have contact n never hang out but we were best of friends.

I had a couple friends I lost when I became Muslim and when I stopped being Muslim they didn’t want me back as a friend.

I was able to have a comfortable chat with a few women I volunteer worked with but not to the point where we are friends that hang out etc

I have my spiritual closest one who is my world and best thing ever.

Then I also have a boyfriend.friend n lover.

I don’t go well with most people it seems.

Wish I had of hung out with my class mates in Gothenburg when I was young before Onsala because they were good to me and good for me.
I could have had a real boyfriend who treated me well.
Had friends so much better to and for me.
What a difference in people and how they try you etc

A couple years ago I say Gday to people I walked past but then they stopped saying g’day back.really rude so I stopped too n don’t say it as much anymore.hardly ever now.

Some people you just vibe with.

Sometimes you vibe lovingly with people you don’t agree with morally .


Sometimes having similar beliefs can bring people together as friends.

Other time no.

There was a female politician who had same or similar political beliefs as me but she had it in for me personally.
She was horrible and set me up n malicious etc despite us having similar political views.

If I have a good friend and they have a person attacking them with hate for no reason perhaps i should not engage with that person out of loyalty and love for my friend even if they try to be nice maybe.

Wayside chapel have a room where they have medical staff support you need it be it’s a room where you can inject heroin legally.
It’s a Christian charity.
I Digg that unconditional care.
They also help homeless and stuff.

My boyfriend is so down to earth.
He has experienced so much.

My sister n family I have are stuck up n hateful vibes.

I could be friends with a satanist , Christian, Muslim, atheist and a right winger n left winger I reckon but some people are just stuck up and way off.

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I say both. Also sticking together through tough times.

I have a lot of extreme right wing friends and one very extreme left wing friend. I’m closest to the extreme left wing friend. The right wing friends are really just acquaintances.


Actually maybe I couldn’t be friends with all types of people n beliefs.golly knows.

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I agree. Time spent is more important than common interests.