I have a genetic predisposition as well. Add to that: traumatic death of my mother after watching her suffer a slow painful death that I didn’t see coming from age 8-15, PTSD, panic attacks, depression, paranoia, anxiety, drinking, drugs, and the straw to break the camel’s back? 2cb. I tried to do LSD because it has had positive and calming effects on me in the past and lifted depression, but they gave me the experimental drug 2cb instead and it was like some light went on in my head and never went out. My sister thinks my sz is just a huge flashback from that but she doesn’t get that its a whole other level. And seeing that I was with four other people who did the same stuff and I was the only one that “went mental” and stayed that way ever since, I know and my Dr knows I have sz.
After that night I never thought the same again. I had a brain melt down. I kept asking ppl why they were hiding the truth from me and what did they really mean when they said that etc and they’d try to humor me because they were my friends but after years of acting like that no wonder they are hesitant to see me. Good thing I’ve learned how to wear a mask and act “normal” in public.
I am very hesitant to post this as my voices and delusions are telling me it will only lead to more secrecy and no one will tell me the truth and it is going to end poorly while I again become alienated. Well here we go, if anyone in the world could be able to understand it should be you guys!