I assume most people here are middle aged adults and medicated. I don’t comprehend anymore how I was once was. And then I sort of look down upon how I have been. Like what was driving all the things I did and how I behaved.
There was part of me that was inspired and pulled in by thoughts and theories. Awe, Scared, Facinated, driven where things I just had. I was more impressed by peoples personality and had even role models. It all got lost on me.
When I look back, I think my younger years were ruled by fear, anger, and hate, but mostly motivated by fear, although I wouldn’t have allowed that then. I think I reacted to my lack of understanding by lashing out at everything, as if by negation I could avoid what I feared. My first label was “SMED”, 9th grade, Socially Maladjusted and Emotionally Disturbed. My brand new med was Mellaril. Oh well f*ck memory lane. In the here and now, all systems are GO. My brain is fairly sizzling and my old mental blocks aren’t blocking me all too bad right now. I might even post a drawing or two if I can stand to look at them. Who knows.
I didn’t mean just childhood but also younger aduldhood.
I was very reckless. Not wise.
I never stood a chance. At anything.
Yet here I am 60 years later not doing too bad.
I was little aware of different walks of life.
I thought some had similar sentiment as me, but maybe not.
I think I was an idiot in my younger years. Nothing profound changed.
Wish I could be them again they were happier and had a happier outlook
I refused to face the future and it happened, anyway. I became ill.
Looking back, I miss being so active as I was when I was a child. I used to leave the house at 6:30 in the morning, and not come back until supper time. My life was filled with swimming, fishing, racing our bikes, Etc. As much as there were shity times, there were a lot of good times as well
I think my younger self did great considering they were undiagnosed! I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for some actions my younger self took.
I just wish I’d gotten to the point I’m at now sooner.
It was ok, my will was good.
Yeah, that’s kind of how my childhood was too. Also, playing football or baseball in the park, water balloon fights, going to the bowling alley, or just hanging out in the street with the neighborhood girls. Also had many shi**y times but plenty of good memories too.
I would like to have the physical strength of my younger self back the most. It feels like I’ve lost most, or possibly all of my sex drive which I mourn since I never used it in the first place. Yet at the same time crossing the finish line without passing on the disease would be a bit of an accomplishment. Still I sometimes wonder what if? My body aches every day now just like people who are older than me although every day I meet people still working with similar problems. Yet my head is a little foggier than it used to be and I simply can’t function at the level I used to. I wonder if I could work again yet for the time being accept the black mark they once put on me at 24 as someone who would never work, or study again which I did for almost 2 decades before the relapse. I would love to travel out of state again which I haven’t done for 6 years. It’s a weird feeling to beat and then lose to the odds.
Oh yeah, I forgot. Lots and lots of hockey. I played in net and not to brag but I was pretty f****** good
And a game called Chase. It’s kind of like tag, except when you get tagged you join the team of hunters until you’re down to the last man. I made it to the last man a few times, I love those memories
With my question I didn’t mean to ask what you guys did and why you did it. I ment it in away of rating your earlier self. I guess here are many different people of all ages and that way of seeing things doesn’t cross many peoples minds at the moment 
I got the idea, we just wandered a bit off track reminiscing
I was, and still am, foolish, I think. I’m impetuous and emotional. I make up for it with a bubby personality, though. 
I’m much like my younger self, just more insightful about who I am, where I’ve been and why, I suppose.
I know more about what was going on with me and why my parents never saw it and I never really understood it. I agree with my younger self that I’ve made the right decisions. My younger self has always been there for me. 