I mean like ultra dark. I keep having these set of thoughts or rather these thoughts keep entering my head that won’t leave, and they are sadistic. To be honest its been going on for about 2 weeks now. Well ive had the thought before off and on for the past 4 years but two weeks ago the thought intruded into my brain cavity and its become “fully formed”. I haven’t told anyone because I’d end up back in the hospital even though i was already there only a few days ago. And this thought doesn’t matter or care how many times I go to the hospital cause it could always go into action whenever I’m in the outside world. I keep reading that these thoughts are because I have something untreated like depression (duh). But its like ive had TREATED schizoaffective disorder for the past 3-4 years. Im in intensive outpatient as it is. I don’t know how much more “treatment” i can get. Its really sad how everything has led up to this thought entering my head. Im coming out by saying it now because it doesn’t really matter at this point. If it wants to progress it will and there’s no stopping it. Its just sad that all the bs ive had to go through in my life has led up to now. Makes me question whether there was any hope to begin with. I know the first response will be “talk to ur pdoc”. Well if i did, id get sent to the hospital, then id get out in about a week. But the thought would still be there even after i got out. It decided to pop up in my head like the stay puft marshmellow man. No prior research no insentive in trying to find the thought. It just popped right up in there. And now i don’t know what to do
Believe me i wish the thought never entered my mind because it terrifies me and is downright horrible. But u never really control ur thoughts right?
I have really bad intrusive thoughts, I know it’s not the same but still… A few weeks ago I was watching The Simpsons, and an intrusive sexual thought about Marge Simpson poped up… I laughed, it was stupid. So, now, whenever a bad thought crosses my mind, whether it’s intrusive, depressive, or just down right disturbing, I think “Marge Simpson”, and remember they’re just thoughts. They’re not who I am.
A thought is a thought is a thought is a thought. It means nothing about you. It can’t make you do anything.
@Minnii always talked about considering thoughts as clouds that blow across your mind’s sky - look at them, notice them, but then just let them blow away. It doesn’t mean anything beyond that.
Where the problem is, is if you think you need to act on it. By no means do you have to act on any thought you have. But if you are having trouble realizing that, then, absolutely, 100%, talk to your doctor, go to the hospital, do whatever it takes to keep you and those around you safe.
But otherwise, it’s just a thought. I could tell you all the horrible thoughts I have, but then I’d have to suspend myself for violating site guidelines. I’ve never had to act on any of them, though.
Yea but this is really specific. Like horrifically and deeply disturbed specific. And like i said. I didn’t try to think of it. Nor did i research it or go hunting for the thought. It just came out of the blue one day. Now it won’t go away like it wants me to keep thinking about it. Everything is telling me this is the way its supposed to be which is sad. Its sad life would lead me to this point or maybe even myself subconsiously leading myself to this point. Either way. I haven’t felt the same since the thought popped up
I know thoughts r just thoughts but its hard not to listen when its constant everyday for the past 2 weeks. Maybe even longer
Thanks for the help though ill try and pay it no mind
I can relate to that. I’ve had constant intrusive thoughts for the past 4 years, I thought I was a bad person because of them. Until someone told me that they were just intrusive thoughts. Then mouse and ninjastart told me that they’re symptoms of OCD. Then I talked to my therapist about them, and he assured me that they don’t make me a bad person.
In the end, what we do about those thoughts it’s what matters. If you choose to act on them, if you choose to recognize them as your own or not, if you choose to look at them as just symptoms of an illness. That’s what matters, not the content of the thought.
@Rhubot I had forgotten all about the clouds thing!! Thanks for reminding me
When i get intrusive thoughts, I say ‘F*** off Alien!’ Because I know its Alien (my voice -the man in my head) who is putting them there. And i try to distract myself with something else. If it gets real bad I listen to music.
You are not alone. I also suffer and hardly get disconnected and deattached from my dark thoughts. I always put it like 'I wouldn’t get it if I didn’t really want it, right?"
Rationally speaking though, I know it is ■■■■■■■■. So believe to Rhubes and Minnii they know what they’re talking about.
I get some terrible intrusive thoughts, usually about hurting my family members. When they happen, I try to remind myself that literally everyone gets these thoughts at some point. It’s just the human brain and its endless mysteries at work. But seriously, everyone has dark thoughts. The majority of people are able to just shrug it off as a random brain glitch, but a few of us get stuck on them, and that’s called OCD. We end up worrying that we are bad people for thinking this way, because good people would never envision driving off a cliff with their baby niece in the car.
But they do. Everyone does and it’s totally normal. You have nothing to worry about, unless you start to feel like you might actually act on these thoughts. I will PM you some of my dark thoughts if you like, so you can see that yours are no worse than mine.
Neurofeedback has helped me stop getting hung up on these thoughts. I highly recommend it. Minnii does CBT for hers, if I’m remembering correctly. There are treatment options out there. And I never had to tell my doctor what my intrusive thoughts were. He could treat me anyways, because everyone knows what those dark thoughts entail.
I get intrusive thoughts almost every day, mostly of a violent or sexual nature and often about my family. I’ve learned to ignore it after a while event though it really throws me off. For a recent example, I was watching x-men apocalypse last night and I had a really disruptive intrusive thought about Nicholas Hoult, it almost ruined the whole movie for me but I managed to pull it back together and enjoy the movie and I’m really proud of myself for that. So for me, intrusive thoughts are a daily occurrence but I’ve learned to live with them, that’s not to say they don’t distress me.
For me the intrusive thoughts are connected to stereotypical thinking (if you don’t know what that is search it).
A lot of people get intrusive thoughts, myself included. They’re part of a self torture game. It can be devilishly hard to beat these games. It isn’t so much the content of the thought, but the horror we feel about them, that perpetuate these unwelcome intrusions into our minds. Look hard for a way to beat it. I’ve had these devilish thoughts for a long, long time.
