What do y’all do about homicidal ideations? I get these thoughts of rage within me that I can’t help. I try to hold all of it in and I fear one day I’ll lose it. Like something will set me off and I’ll do it. Not to my children, husband or other family members, but my in laws brothers in laws, sister in law. Who I hate with a passion. I’ve always thought of myself as amoral, and have had no restraint to hurt others. Especially if these people have ever crossed me. I know writing this and looking for help about said actions has put me under FBI watch, they do read what you search. Anyway, how can I stop feeling this way? Note, I’ve been playing with these thoughts since I was a child. I don’t want to go to the hospital, but I may have to. I’ve read that everyone at some point have had murderous thoughts and it’s even been encouraged to allow thoughts to play out to get them off your mind. At least that’s what I’ve read. I really need advice.
I keep thinking of what I would have to lose and the consequences. I think of the snowball effect. The sh@# trouble I’d be doing to my family.