What crazy things have you done because of your schizophrenia

What crazy things have you done because of your schizophrenia. I have put €400 in a public bin. Ive had to beg barechested on my knees, in my hometown many a times. Ive basically just been told to demean myself in public, in order to develop humility. What crazy things have you been told to do or have you done?

Oh dear, that list is far too long and far too ugly.

Plus I had a toddler physically attached to me through many Sz episodes.

I’ve been naked in public for many different reasons either by hallucination that my cloths were on fire again to delusions that my cloths have tracking devices sewn into them.

I’ve broken into a neighbors house during their daughters little party because I was sure they kidnapped my sis and I had to rescue her.

I’ve almost gotten my kid sister shot by a store security guard. I’ve done many rabid things when I was homeless, constantly drunk and not medicated in any way.

Just another reason to stay on my meds. Having the ability not to be like this anymore and having the ability to remember what I did yesterday for the most part.

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Hmmm…I havent done much that funny, more like psychopathic or parasuicidal. But whatever

But I have gotten really drunk, projectile vomited at my birthday party
I started masturbating randomly in a room full of my friends (drunk)
I have bought clothes that dont fit
I sat outside in my underwear smoking a cigarette when it was snowing, at 3am (drunk)
I really aggressively hit on a girl (drunk)
I projectile vomited right next to the sink, but not in the sink (drunk)
I slapped my friends (drunk)
And apparently, when I get drunk I start this peculiar laugh that my friends notice as the indicator that I’m drunk. That and they say I just laugh at everything they tell me to do or not to do.

I’ve always hated it when something like this happens. I wasn’t drunk and I wasn’t in a room full of friends, but I was scared and in public and the voices were amping up and I sort of lost any self control. I was trying to sort of self soothe. I remember it was a busy place and I was slipping.

I remember my kid sis standing in front of me asking for my hand so I gave her my hand then she said, “No J, I need the other one. Please give me your other hand.” She just kept quietly asking for my other hand too.

That’s when I realized where that hand was. I was so embarrassed and upset with myself. That is the worst feeing ever for me. I really hated myself when stuff like that would happen. But my sis was somehow always cool with me about it. As I got more familiar with my stress levels I started to recognize when it was time to leave a place before something like this happened again.

I’m not ashamed of masturbation in private. But for me? Not in the middle of a store or library or in a large crowd. But it did happen sometimes. Not anymore thank goodness…

None…Well, I take that back. I once wore two different colored socks for a whole day. It earned me an 8 month stay in a locked ward and they suspended my drivers license for a year.

I was waving around a large steel bar at neighbors because they were making loud noises outside.
i spat on the floor of a grocery store cos i thought the music they were playing were trying to control me and send messages.
I went into a schoolyard cos I thought the kids were teasing me… (the gates wasnt locked). i looked at each of their mouths to follow where the voices were coming from.
I threatened to punch on of my friends (she’s alot larger than me and more athletic so it made no sense for me to beat her up) and accused her of being a hacker.

I yelled at preachers during sermons and services. I honestly think they deserved it but I was out of control. I flipped the bird (middle finger ) to a baby in a carriage at the orders of ghosts pestering me. That was a point I was realizing I was off

I dug into the walls of my house because I was convinced there were secret notes behind the bricks.

I became convinced I had killed my math teacher and tried to cover it up really elaborately. Then I walked into the school to “act normal” and he was standing right there. Freaked me out.

I don’t care to go into detail about them, but I will say that so many times I was just on the verge of catastrophe. There must have been some entity that was looking out for me. Sometimes I think that in a parallel universe those catastrophes really happened.

I thought I was going to kill myself by taking meds and did so anyway voluntarily. Seemed pretty crazy to me at the time.