Im struggling to complete therapy homework. I can only list two things, that I’m polite and that I want things to change. But I’m not sure if its even true that I’m polite from the heart or if I’m just a nasty person on the inside and that I’ only pretending to be nice as a courtesy. I feel i dont speak my mind enough.
And its true that I want things to change for myself but its more of an urge. Like I want to be more loving and happier and funnier and all that. The same things I used to be, but I feel that the illness has robbed me of my personality. I made an earlier post about not being sure if I’m still empathetic. I care about my Mum cos shes the closest person to me, but I feel disconnected from my friends. Its nice to see them but I dunno.
I don’t know… I just find it really hard to know myself and what I like about myself.
I dont know if I’ve gotten that far. My suffering hasn’t bore any meaning to me except that life is painful. I just feel too wrapped up in my own suffering to accomodate the suffering of others. I feel horrible and monstrous for saying that.
I like my personality
I love my Hazel greenish blue eyes
I love my confidence
I like that I am real and not fake like some people put on a show
I am honest sometimes brutally but sometimes you need to hear the truth instead of lies or rumors no matter if it hurts.
I feel like my sense of humour was lost to the diagnosis. Used to be funny without even trying. But now its muddled in social situations i miss my silly sense of humour a lot.
I’m peaceful.turn the other cheek and never ever hate anyone not even ones who did evil agony to me .i just don’t want them to have access to me and think they should be made to pay me and be jailed but so many of them .
And unfortunately turning other cheek doesn’t make bad behaviour stop it makes them think they can treat me however badly and get away with it .
Law is supposed to protect but hopefully find a way to protect self and still be peaceful.
Have empathy and care and am vegan .
Gentle softi feminine kind .high frequency in my true self very pure good real authentic.(but gets stolen attacked )
I love my real light blue and grey eyes but they have not been in my body since I met this woman as child I have green eyes in bod but it’s not my eyes and I have others acting as me in the green eyes .i want my grey blue eyes back myself back .
I’m sure if I’m a fish I might have black eyes ya know … not being shallow .
There’s very little I actually like about myself. I like that I can be kind but that’s never really worked favourably for me either so I don’t know if I like it at all.