Today was a different day. I sat down in my smoking area and reflected on my life. From mental hospitals for months, too millions of persecutory thoughts, all my fears, all my delusions, being mentally insane, depersonalization disorder. I’ve been through so much that I have great perseverance. I’ve learn what I am truly made of and surprised I’ve made it this far. Take time to remember the journey you’ve been through, you’ll realize how strong you really are.
And after all that, life goes on. 35 years with paranoid schizophrenia for me. A paradox occurred to me.Years ago the mentally ill were considered feeble minded or weak minded. But man how strong must our minds be to survive psychosis and years of stress.
My journey down into the rabbit hole began years ago. Thing were never straight for me even as a kid. Constant panic , anxiety, fears, delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, distortions, the list goes on. I wouldn’t wish this illness on my worst enemy but If only other people in my life knew and felt what I go through even for a day - the torture I have endured.
But I must be strong, because I have made it this far. I wish nothing but good to all of my schizophrenic brothers and sisters - We are the strong ones, this is for sure
That is exactly where my head is at as well. I am very surprised I’m still here. Like all of us here, I savour that moment to calm like a rare fruit hoping I can make it come around again. It takes an amazing amount of strength to wake up, hear what we hear, see what we see and still say, “That’s not going to stop us”
good luck to us all.
I’ve never heard a normal person describe the kind of fight that I’ve been through. I wouldn’t even try to explain it to them because they just wouldn’t get it, only my fellow mentally ill people could understand. I feel like I’ve crawled through hell and somehow came out alive. I came really close to dying, but I’m still here, fighting a war everyday in silence.
Yes I agree with both of u. I have been through 13 years of verbal harassment and I’m still here, still fighting. I coulve given up a long time ago. But I chose to fight.and will continue to do so till I die if I don’t find a med that’s takes the voices away. Weak minded? Hmmm I think not. We r the power lifters of this mental Olympics
This is not the life I plan for myself. But after 38 years of being diagnose and many more before that fighting this ugly beast, I’m surprise and glad to say I’m still here. I’m still fighting and doing well in some ways.
Peace be with you Ridgerunner
I have been through a lot of mental torture BUT i believe that it made me stronger and gives people character.
I’m going on 23 years with the illness. I believe I finally can beat it. Take my meds and not do things that increase my voices and stay out of mental health field. I’m glad it works for other people though. The more I do these things the quitter they get. Makes it easy to ignore them. I’m guessing I won’t hear them any more if I do these things. Now that I’m not talking to voices and have a stable job my personality is coming back. I see getting to know someone as pealing layers off an onion. Character. The more hard times a person overcomes the more character a person gets.
we are stronger for the journey, i am glad that you realise how strong you are, because you are.