Today I woke up, and my mindset went into one with a normal mind. It was the greatest thing that has happened since this illness began. It only lasted for 5 seconds, but it was like 10 tons of pain and suffering was lifted off my shoulders, and returned to a normal mind where I could live again. Sad to say it didn’t last long, but it gave me hope that maybe one day my mind will be healed. I’ve had others experiences similar to this, too lazy to type it all out and share it with you. Good vibes Chris
That would give me hope too. You never know, you might get more lucid days like this - best wishes - Rob
i sometimes wonder what it would be like to be ’ normal '.
no voices, no ocd, on ptsd, no depression, no paranoia, no seeing things…yeah i think i like the thought of being normal.
my next life i am ticking ’ the space captain box '…to go bodly where no species have gone before…
i am going to get in my space ship push the accelerator and head out in to the never never…never to be seen again.
I hope for you… One moment will grow in to a minute, that will grow into an hour or more. The more you grow, the more it fades…
I’m rooting for you.
As far as normal… all the “normal” people I know aren’t normal at all. So absolutely no one can tell me what normal is.
Functional? yes… normal? no.
@surprisedj what I am trying to explain isn’t the “normal” in the behavior of people. It was living in a falsely perceived reality, a broken man who has suffered and when that moment of clarity happened when I woke up, I was back into reality, the pain and the scars from this season left me, and I was normal again.
@surprisedj all I can tell you about that experience, is people without mental illness have a very peaceful mind.
Please don’t bet on that. I’ve met some people who don’t have mental illness who I think are worse then I am.
My sis doesn’t have a mental illness and her mind is far from peaceful.
Flip side, I’ve met some people who have battled mental illness and have made their mind peaceful.
@surprisedj yeah but what I say comes from a perspective of a schizophrenic, you know the chaos that goes on in are mind, this circus we deal with everyday, perceiving things outside of reality, imagine it all just going away, and your mind was at peace thinking normally and the pain went away, and you where back in reality, you would probably think something similar.
I’ve been ill since I was 5. I honestly have no basis of comparison. I truly don’t know what “normal” is.
It’s not like I can remember anytime without my voices, my imaginary friends who became real at will, my racing thoughts and my spinning wheel in my head.
I was never in reality in the first place to recognize it if I ever ended up there. My mind is at peace at times because I work to make it that way.
But it sounds like you knew yourself a little more before you had your injury. I was born broken. If I didn’t have my voices, my head would be too quiet and I would be lost.
@surprisedj I somewhat understand, but can never truly understand because I have never walked in your shoes. The last time I truly knew who I was, was 7 years ago. Just posted this because it gave me hope today.
Very cool. I’m glad you’re finding some hope.