It’s very rare when I feel natural. It has been so since 2004. My brain feels like windows being in a safemode. It doesn’t feel and function right. But how comes that sometimes I get out of this mental trap and whitness a natural me? It’s very very rare, like I said, but I know my conciouss still has this possibility/mode still. I am connected to some system, that reads my mind. But it’s not in my hands to turn it off. And my aliens don’t seem to seriously want to make a deal with me either. Ok, one of them wants power and money, but I don’t have either of these to give. But what’s the point of controling my mind then? It’s totally absurd to put me into this situation, without any specific benefit to them. Sacrificing my life and hralth by them makes me really anxious and frustrated, because those little c*nts have zero moral reason to do this. They negotiate not.
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