I’ve hit a rough patch. There is this guy at school who constantly gets high and I let myself go and bought 5$ worth of weed. I smoked it all by myself and felt the usual anxiety. As I was laying in my bed I told myself why use something that makes you so distressed and promised myself to be more careful. I had been clean for 2 years.
I missed one day of school Thursday, so far I’ve been absent only 2 days in the 7 months I’ve been there. I worry constantly. My results are okay so far, the biggest problem I have is with group projects, it seems I got paired with the class’ misfits and this guy who sold me that small piece always wants to dictate how we should do things without considering other people’s opinions. I have nothing against him personally, he is even nice to me, but he is loud and a bit tyrannical and I feel we won’t achieve much with our game project.
I will admit feeling like I want to quit College recently, we’re 2 weeks away from spring break so I think I’ll be okay. It is just so hard to have to start from the bottom. It makes me sad that some people like most of us have nothing to their name while other bask in riches. Did you know that if you have 1 Million in a savings account you earn 5000$ a month just from interests. That’s 5 times my income just for having a load of cash sit there in the bank.
I’ve started saving and I live more frugally except for comfort food.
Well, that’s all for now, wanted to know how to hold on and not give up, despite difficult relations with some students and pushing myself really hard to the point of exhaustion and taking other students’ workload and wanting to do real good for them and myself.
Definitely don’t quit. It’s hard but you can do it, next time stay with another group.
As for the slip in buying weed, you know what you did - reproval look
It’s your choice to continue on the self destructive path or to climb out of it again. I assure you you’ll feel much better if you climb out of it, and the slip is just a slip. If you make it a habit again, then you’re in trouble.
For now, I just advise you to take care of yourself, your mental health and your studies should be your priorities now. Even with the bad group (get away from them, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life)
Thanks @Minnii, I’m a bit passive when it comes time to form groups so I end up having to team up with who’s available, there’s some people I really want to work with but I don’t approach them for fear of being rejected. It’s really dumb but I don’t claim to be perfect and that’s one of weaknesses: Pride. To be honest at least life is a bit more tolerable, I just have a naturally worrying nature. I will definitely take your advice concerning smoking, I’ve reached a point where I can’t allow myself to be dragged back into it. Take care and good luck with your friend.
I get it, I’m like that too. But I think it’s possible to change that. Why should we feel embarassed or afraid of being rejected? It’s not like we’re losing anything with it. Take a chance and ask those people next time.
Stay away from the weed. You know yourself that it is not good for you and you’ve got too much to lose. Doing something that causes you anxiety just to get a modicrum of pleasure for 5 minutes is not smart. That 5 minutes can effectlivly erase 7 months of hard work. You have to ask yourself, is it really worth it?
It’s really important for us to care for ourselves.
Were you trying to take care of a need by getting high? Anxiety or frustration?
My son has schizophrenia and has felt a lot better by meditating and doing yoga.
He also likes to walk.
All of us can do well from them. They are harmless and easy to do. The world in general is finding peace through meditation, prayer and yoga.
Love to you on your journey:)