"Wake up. You lost."

I dreamt I was a winner.

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Life defines it’s winners by those who lived it and found a reason for it. By those standards, I’d say @PinCushion you won.

Thank you, Gir, but I have a personality that is never satisfied and objects to compliments.

I’ll just keep trying. Sometimes it helps to go against your nature and accept one once in a while. You might feel better.

ok I’ll keep trying to accept a compliment.

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I can relate to this little saying…a lot.

That’s how I feel and yet though I do maybe secretly lay blame at my own doorstep so to speak I honestly tend to view my loss in life as not necessarily the fault of other people but society it’s self. Like, if there was a crack in a system I probably fell right through it.

I discovered that there was a support system only after having fallen through all the cracks and after, yes, having lost. I see things differently than the majority in my society though, I mean I see a man or woman living on the street and think why should there be?

But yeah, I’ve been feeling recently at 33 that yep I’m waking up to having lost. I can’t not hold out that there might be hope in some form though.

Discovering that there is real support out there is a real find. I’m not 100% sure of support as the more I get to know individuals, there are some things they can support me about and some things they can’t. It’s a gamble.

I actually feel like they in my case do the bare minimum because I seem to be some sort of social pariah for whatever reason. Though If I’d found the kind of mental health and social support I now know about back when say I was first diagnosed or even before I’d probably be recovered, employed and living a decent life at this point.