hi, this is a video of me talking to someone about my current state of mind…
i have other vids if anyone is interested in seeing me in not so good states of mind…
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hi, another vid of me under extreme delusion - believing my neighbours are out to get me…
although i am sure there nice people and have absolutely nothing to do with my didsease but not at the time of this video…
ps… i know i sound like a dick but this is how i get when i am delusional…
pps… i have done so many things i am terribly guilty and remorseful about,
including not controlling my temper and yelling out disgusting things in the direction of where i think the voices are coming from… i dont know how i can live with myself to be honest…
any comments are welcome…
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hi, last vid i will upload here- very ashamed of this one…
me going off at neighbours that dont deserve it…
Glad you are getting this off your chest. Shows a lot of insight. Out of curiousity, why do you videotape yourself when youre psychotic? Do the voices tell you to do it? I never thought of videotaping myself when I was psychotic. Although the police have a lovely video of me talking to myself and generally acting like a lunatic in the jail cell. Course I thought the CIA was watching me.
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hi, i videotape myself mainly for future insight of what i am like psychotic so as to remind myself to stay on meds, and also to guilt trip myself into remaining calm as things get rather intense…
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Were these unmedicated times?
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I think that’s very smart. I wish I had videos of my unmedicated struggles to remind me to stay on meds.
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hi,
no i am currently medicated, these are recent delusions and ongoing
even now i am struggling to hold on to sanity…
hi,
thanks for the kind comment,
hopefully they do remind me to keep up the meds also…
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Sounds like the meds aren’t quite effective yet, maybe the vids will be useful in keeping your doc informed. Kind of like a recovery journal.
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hi,
yeah not much effectivity in meds really,
think i am more than delusional,
like, people are really taking advantage of the fact that i have schizophrenia!
anyone else ever have this ?
I have too many video tapes of my trying to prove my truths, that others were being dicks to me, but if you think I could watch them now…no way.
That was my (ex) husbands idea- he bought me numerous video cameras, digital cameras, mirrors (to peek around corners, see outside and into other rooms with two mirrors-he taught me how)- all because he wanted to see some portrait perfect proof that what I was saying was true…of course nothing pleased him, but he did manage to (secretly) share all my Proof to anyone he thought would help him prove I was the problem-not him doing what I was accusing him of doing.
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Yeah I have had some dickery. Pretty much just dickery, not conspiracy, some people are merely a-holes. But, most aren’t.
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hi,
just thought id say i am currently well on the mend…
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