Very worried about a friend. What would you do?

Lounge
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I’ve talked several times about my best friend with MS.

She had experimental stem cell treatment and chemo in Mexico and is now back in the states.

Thing is,

She’s not following any of the post op rules.

The rules are very strict and in her condition literally anything could kill her.

People from that clinic that were there when she was have already died of brain infections and seizures.

And they were following the rules.

She’s got zero support from family and I feel like her boyfriend is just a jackass.

Not mean, but dumb.

He’s just sitting back and watching her do all these things she shouldn’t be doing.

When I talk to her it’s only for a few minutes and she sounds terrible and depressed.

We used to talk for hours.

I’m almost to the point of asking my husband if she can move in with us.

I’m 100% to the point of asking my husband if I can fly out there and get an assessment of the situation.

The scariest thought is that I’m too late already.

She’s not in the best hands and I’m an experienced caregiver.

What would you do?

This woman has been my bestie since we were fourteen and we’re almost 40.

I’m terrified she’s going to die.

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I would absolutely fly down and check on the situation. Sometimes, people with severe diseases break rules because the quality of life within those incredibly strict rules is so mediocre they would rather die than live that way. But, in my experience, when I start thinking that way I need a trusted friend to remind me I am being a little emo ■■■■■ who needs to suck it up and learn to adapt to the circumstances.

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That is exactly what’s going on.

Her quality of life isn’t great so she’s breaking all the rules.

In her treatment they had about 12 people in her “class”.

One died of a brain infection from wearing makeup.

MAKEUP!

She’s smoking, sleeping in bed with her dog, and eating stuff like sushi.

All at the top of the “do not do under any circumstances” list.

I feel like she needs someone to intervene.

I don’t know her boyfriend, but I know her other boyfriends.

And I know her fetishes, so he’s probs not a great guy.

I’m going to talk to my husband about a short trip to see her.

Soon.

Like when I get over this flu.

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In the meantime, it might help if you call her to ask advice on a problem you know she would be good at solving. It could remind her if what she still CAN do, and also remind her people need her.

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Thank you for the advice.

I do that.

She’s an NP and I ask her medical questions all the time.

I can tell she likes it, because she’s not practicing right now, and makes her feel useful.

I’m encouraging her to document her journey in video and writing for others interested in the program.

She has a unique perspective as a patient and provider.

I thought that would give her more routine and make her feel like she’s working toward good.

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Yeah, I would visit her as soon as possible. As it is, she’s heading down the wrong, dark road. Maybe you can talk some sense into her and if she sees how much you care for her, she might start caring more about herself. I would book the flight and start planning for the trip right away.

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we checked in on an ill sister in law in my first marriage, she was in bad shape and she was an alcoholic…we thought she would pull out of it…she died…go see your friend…she needs you.

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I would tell her, continue with what’s right for you if you need advice from me.

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I sent her a text with a personal medical question.

I know she saw it and never responded.

I’m even more concerned now.

May contact her other best friend even though we don’t have the best history.

Kind of got in a fight during our college years, but that was sooo long ago.

Going to see what she thinks.

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I think a visit is a good idea. Maybe you can help her.

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