I had an episode when out driving I was feeling down because I lost my mother in 2018 and it was Mother’s Day my whole family is pushed at me right now but I couldn’t help it I feel like a burden to my sister she told me to come back b4 I ■■■■ up everything of my recovery but is there really recovery for this I hate living with this diagnosis
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As each year goes by, I continue to improve.
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Yup, but you have to work towards it. Doesn’t usually happen on its own.
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Hope youre feeling better
For me recovery is like the seasons. For a while I get settled on a med and things go back to as normal as they can be and I am working. Then side effects or efficacy lets me down and have to start all over again
My own introspection tells me right now that I like to dig a hole so deep there is no escape from it…
However, with so many setbacks on my record, it can be hard to see recovery as being a good thing.
When I look at my own experience, they tried to pension me off on benefits when I was 24 years old. They said I’d never be able to be part of society
With a supportive work environment I got my own place, and independence.
Now recovery seems to have gone back to the start again, I wonder to myself whether it was actually there at all, or was I just wilfully assimilated into society as it was made easier with family support in the workplace
What I think you’re referring to can be achieved, but you have to have the correct conditions to succeed - and that has to come from you and the people supporting you.
The puzzle I am staring at right now thanks to a reversed recovery state is that I chose to go down the path of being responsible and ‘normal’, but now I want to jump lanes and take some financial support for a while
Decisions made throughout the recovery process need to be well considered. Luckily I budgeted for losing my ability for work, but that will only go so far.
Sorry I am self-centred and rambling somewhat, but I am not so sure the recovery model works if you remain subjectively isolated and fool yourself into thinking you can keep up with others who’re not handicapped mentally
Schizophrenia can make life hell, but you need to take control of the situation and create the change that suits your life.
My writing above is just trying to demonstrate that we must be acutely aware that things can go south, but how we deal with these things will ultimately lead to a better path as you won’t be fooled a second time and you can learn from your mistakes.
I guess recovery is possible, but the ups and downs do hit hard sometimes, and it’s not always easy to get back up again after a kicking.
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sorry for your loss. must be so hard.
did you fall off the wagon, it happens.
Yes, like @shutterbug said.
You gotta take meds and work with your psychiatrist to find the right ones and the right dosages.
A lot of people here also benefit from therapy. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), DBT (dialectal behavior therapy), or even EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) which is often used to treat and heal trauma.
Some people here are very stable, but they had to work for it. Don’t give up. 
yeah there is dissapointment in a setback. i was stable for years in a recovery based program. gained some weight but was sane as can be. only thong i struggled with was getting drunk and high but i also had nine months of sobriety and was involved in the community. but then i was convinced to move back into an apartment on my parents property and eventually everything fell apart. man do i isolate when im living with them. i moved back to start a clubhouse but things fell apart fast. became psychotic for a while. moved into a condo and did alright for a while but things went down hill. wound up in the state hospital for the first time for five weeks and then therapeutic community for about a year and then the hospital again for a freaking year. someone said some pretty scary stuff about me. now im just stuck at my folks place waiting on an apartment im sane on risperdal but i hear voices all day so im really just coping with it right now. when i became a member of this new clubhouse i really lost interest that id had when i was going to the old one. we did alot of good work there. now i just stop by now and then for the news. just coping really now.
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@Joker thank you so much 
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