as I watch these vast hills which line up this landscape,
and with my small, withered hands that are put upon my knees,
I know that the heavens took no pity on me
and dropped me here.
and I do not deserve pity; I have hurt thousands of people;
including the dear one I love, that I have adored so much.
with countless bottles of pills, I have drowned him
and now the heavens have declared me to be guilty.
I have asked the heavens to drown me, but why am I still living?
I have let them to decide my fate. I do not choose mine.
I’ve asked them to blind my eyes and cut my ears,
for I deserve it; I deserve it all.
I shall weep here, and I shall die alone.
and I do not despise the heavens; the heavens are just.
may all the souls I have drowned, rest in peace,
and for mine, let the heavens drown my soul completely.