stupid excuses,
reasons to go
another day
with life’s cruel blessings
this is what i have to give
this is why you starve
my own selfish fear
my own disgusting shame
my version of you
that’s dead or almost there
a head on the floor
warm or no longer human
he’s still more real
than the people i talk to
more familiar and near
through the darkness of joy
i still hear your voice
as i know you hear mine
but our conversations always circle
to the one embarrassing point
this is what i have to give
this is why you rot
my own selfish fear
my own disgusting shame
drugs wont turn your face away
nor show you the guilt
that i protect
so i can feed you on regret
this is what i have to give
this is why youre gone
my own selfish fear
my own disgusting shame