Schizophrenia.com

Unknown diagnosis

Many doctors and therapists have diagnosed me with schizoaffective disorder.
A few with bipolar disorder.

My current psychiatrist honestly is stumped when finding the correct diagnosis for me.

For insurance purposes she diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder but honestly I’m doing better off mood stabilizers like Depakote.

I’m doubting whether I’m schizophrenic or bipolar.

All I know is that when I’m on certain activating meds or when I’m off of Risperdal I become psychotic.

Mainly delusional and paranoid with zero insight.

My psychiatrist is certain that I suffer with OCD and anxiety.

Everything else is in the dark.

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You mean you never had psychosis?

I read that you can have bipolar with psychosis yet its not called schizoaffective. Its confusing.

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I’ve had severe psychotic breaks.
When on activating meds like antidepressant type drugs or when I’m completely off of risperdal.
@Aziz

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Yeah maybe my current psychiatrists initial diagnosis of bipolar disorder was correct but my current therapist diagnosed me with schizoaffective.

I’m so ■■■■■■■ confused.

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@Wave ,the only thing that is important is how you feel,not diagnosis.

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Feeling pretty stable lately @zoa
Thanks

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The difference between bipoalr and schizoaffective is schizoaffective has psychosis without mood symptoms sometimes. Like my current episode im psychotic but not depressed or manic. I have some days where im down but not relaly to a depressed level. Bipolar always has psychosis with mania or depression

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Yes I know @MoonGarden
But even with that info it’s difficult to know my true diagnosis.

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Yeah its hard to tell the difference sometimes. I wasnt really sure of mine until this episode

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Why does it matter so much? You gotta stop obsessing. A diagnosis is JUST a word. They could call it unicornfartitis and it still wouldn’t change your symptoms or what meds help.

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The obsessing is from the certain diagnosis of OCD.

Don’t know why you are so upset?

Not knowing what my true diagnosis is frustrating.

After all I’m taking powerful APs with lots of side effects.

Just wondering it it’s all necessary.

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Dude, you’re you. Maybe you have something they haven’t hammered out that fits into a neat little box that a doctor can slap on you and call it a diagnosis. Homosexuality used to be a diagnosis of mental illness. Until recently, we didn’t have Intermittent Explosive Disorder. We’ve also seen the coming and going of Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder. It’s a science, and it’s evolving. Like I said in a different thread, we’re barely off the ground medically. Pharma is shooting with a blindfold on hoping to hit a passing bird. I don’t think we’re any closer to figuring out the brain than 20 years ago, not substantially at least. Because if they did, we’d have some new and effective treatments instead of rebranded and reboxed expensive pharma crap.

You come here for support, you get pretty much what you’ve already gotten in this thread, and then it festers and eats at you some more. Getting a diagnosis, whatever it is and however it’s accomplished, will not solve anything for you. The same meds that work now will continue to provide relief, and the ones that don’t, you’re no longer taking. You’ve gotta get it into your head that a diagnosis will not help with anything. Unless you commit some immense high-publicity crime and are studied, you’re not going to get anything out of it other than a code to bill insurance and reference for tests. It is literally meaningless.

So stop thinking about it. Some day it will come, and I don’t want to be a downer or rude, but it’s likely some day you’ll get diagnosed with something physical that will either be debilitating, terminal, or both. And then on that day, you’re going to wish that you never asked what your diagnosis was or what the treatment will be. Odds are, it’ll be a helluva lot worse than popping Risperdal and wondering about an evasive disease that really has no existential threat.

I don’t want to come off as harsh, and I’m sorry if it reads this way. I’ve just seen you torment yourself over the years. Maybe if I stomp on this fire, it can finally be put out. I’ve laid it all out for you. It’s up to you if you want to continue this obsession and suffer, or be done with it and put it to bed.

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Yeah thanks @alien99

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I don’t want you to feel bruised. I don’t want to hurt you or invalidate your feelings. I don’t know if anyone in your treatment has approached it with my frankness, but I thought it was something that would be worth you hearing.

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I appreciate your honesty @alien99
You are a good friend.

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My diagnosis history:

  1. OCD
  2. OCD and depression
  3. OCD, tourettes, and anxiety
  4. psychosis NOS
  5. schizophrenia
  6. schizoaffective and PTSD
  7. psychosis NOS and PTSD
  8. Sleep apnea and ADHD (C-PTSD is in my notes, but it isn’t in the DSM yet so it isn’t official)

Who knows, man. I don’t think very many of us fall evenly into categories. I think nobody really knows WHY we are the way we are, and they don’t know WHY certain treatments work better than others.

I felt a lot of identity crisis when I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia, and again when they took it away. It is confusing, especially because we have built this community where we fit in based on that identity and diagnosis. But the diagnosis isn’t what makes you belong here. You belong here because of your experiences. No word on an insurance form is ever going to erase your experiences. You know what it is like to be out of control of your own actions. You know what it is like to have to question your own judgment and perception.

The word they give you can be very important, because it can change your treatment and other people’s perception of you. But it also isn’t the definition of who you are.

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Yes thanks @ninjastar
@Miika and @alien99 are right I tend to over obsess on my diagnoses.

My therapist said to go with my psychiatrists diagnosis of me, whatever that may be.

She said that a therapists diagnosis doesn’t mean much and what counts is my psychiatrists diagnosis.

@everhopeful was right.

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when you have bipolar with psychosis that means that the psychosis is connected to your mood. Like you get manic and then get psychotic… if the psychosis is seperate from your mood but still get manic/depressed too then it’s most likely sza.

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@Wave , With manic depression, you only get psychotic when you are either in a very manic or in a very depressed state. Either or. You never get psychotic when your mood is normal. Not for very long anyway.

With sza, you get psychotic even when your mood is normal. And the psychosis tends to last over time.

That’s always the way my own sza illness had manifested.

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