I still struggle with my current bipolar diagnosis.
Doctors and hospitals in the past have diagnosed me with Schizoaffective disorder.
Honestly I don’t know what the fukk I have.
My therapist says that the diagnosis doesn’t matter because the treatments are the same for both disorders but it matters to me.
Honestly my last psychiatrist got it right when she said that people with bipolar disorder usually have one or more additional diagnoses to their bipolar disorder.
She felt that I have some Schizophrenia in addition to my bipolar.
This makes me Schizoaffective.
Yeah I obsess over it but clarity means something to me.
The pdoc of my ill friend told her, that there is clearly a bipolar with sz features, which is different from schizoaffective in fact…
Ok, i understand that you worry, but hold on there
Me, i had to come in peace that i am a purely paranoid sz with a somatic disorder as well, no matter, that one pdoc was claiming that i am a bpd…
I hope youll be free and better soon too heh, huggies!
My personal opinion: i stopped believing in the DSM. If they can’t decide if I’m autistic, or borderline, or traumatized, or schizophrenic, or bipolar…they probably haven’t got a clue either.
These are not real illnesses. These are behavioural patterns people gave random words to. It is like you coming into the doctors office with belly pain. Nowadays, they can see and test if that is an infection, a myoma, intestinal cancer, or whatever. Each with their own treatment. Modern psychiatry is on the level of diagnosing you with “belly-pain-syndrome” and prescribing life-long morfine to stop the pain. Sza or bp with psychosis are like: we don’t know if it is “upper-left-belly-pain-syndrome” or “lower-left-belly-pain-syndrome”, but just take the painkillers. We have nothing better.
I believe there is little difference between bipolar with psychosis or schizoaffective. Perhaps it’s a way to express the emphasis is on mood fluctations (bp + psychosis) or psychosis (sza). I do think bipolar without psychosis is different, and may need different medication approach.
Like from a med standpoint, I get it: they both require the same meds so who cares.
But quite frankly, they are very different illnesses and some differentiation between the two and acknowledgement of whichever diagnosis you have would be nice.
You do not understand what I want to say. I know that is caused by how I express myself. Sorry. But by no means do I wish to invalidate or dissmiss the person who suffers from the illness. It is a very real illness, with very real causes, psychological and physical, and very real suffering. No way I would ever deny that.
What I invalidate and dismiss is just the DSM. And many psychiatrists I know, dismiss it. Their thinking is shifting. If I have belly pain because of cancer, I have a very real illness. Belly pain is not it though. The DSM describes symptoms, but not the underlying illnesses. There is for example a very strong overlap in microbiome between people with various mental illnesses, and a very strong difference with healthy people. That is a concrete and real problem. I think our understanding of the (real!) illnesses and our diagnosis of them is currently so imprecise, that it is not helpful worrying about bipolar + psychosis versus sza. We don’t really know. It is more helpful to think how we can deal with the concrete problems.
@Wave im in the same boat. 12 years, 2 psychosis and yet no clarity of diagnosis. I want to know what I have. It will make me feel better even though it doesn’t matter to them , it matters to me.
I’m pure sza. I’ve seen extreme BP in people. Folks with sza. Some without diagnosis. Some pdocs go by the book some don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Rox
I have now had two therapists doubting my SZA/bipolar from just sitting with me and getting basic background on the first visit! It upsets me. Do they think I’m lying? Pretending? That my psychiatrist (With whom I’ve been working way longer) is an idiot?
Years ago, I was diagnosed with heavy duty trauma and dissociation. But none of the treatments for those ever worked. Ever. For well over 20 years, maybe even 30. And now I have another new therapist yesterday pushing me on the trauma thing. Like she’d believe that over SZA, even though my psych is her colleague.
Yeah. It makes me feel bad and frustrated and ups the noise and terror in my head, like I’m being bad or something. That it’s my fault that I can’t get the diagnosis right.
But I’m choosing to stick with my psych’s diagnosis.
I guess I’ll see what happens as I get into therapy – omg, I don’t trust this woman – and keep tweaking my meds.
Major depressive disorder with psychotic features means that you only have psychotic symptoms when you are depressed, and you never have psychotic symptoms when your mood is normal.
Bipolar disorder with psychotic features means that you only have psychotic symptoms when you are manic or depressed, and you never have psychotic symptoms when your mood is normal.
Schizoaffective depressive type means you have psychotic symptoms whether you are depressed or not. Even when your mood is normal, you may have psychotic symptoms. Basically saying, your psychotic symptoms are not always caused by depressed mood.
Schizoaffective bipolar type means you have psychotic symptoms whether you are manic, depressed, or if your mood is normal. Even when your mood is normal, you may have psychotic symptoms. Same as schizoaffective depressive type, except you also have mania.
Schizophrenia means you have psychotic symptoms whenever and you don’t have a mood disorder.
Negative symptoms can look like depression, so it’s important for a psychiatrist to determine if you have negative symptoms and/or mood symptoms. But psychiatrists do make mistakes, like anyone. Can you see another psychiatrist, since you are doubting your current diagnosis? Maybe a fresh pdoc appointment could be beneficial. But, of course, it’s up to you.
I’d agree with the bipolar disorder diagnosis but I’m pretty sure I’ve been psychotic outside of a mood symptom but I’m not sure.
It’s so confusing because my memory is not the greatest when I’m in psychosis
The truth is that psychiatry is still evolving drastically all the time, its definitrly not an exact science at this moment and i honestly dont know if it ever will be. Too many people, gene differences, life experiences, personalities, etc. I took abnormal psychology a few years ago and learned psychiatry is moving towards a spectrum view of mental illness, similar to how autism is thought of. I dont know what that would look like but theyre recognizing diagnosing is incredibly flawed. I have a similar thing as you, they cant all agree on if im autistic, schizophrenic, bipolar, or bpd, i can relate to all of them so i just say i probably have at least traits from all and call it a day at this point.
Sorry @Wave if I came across as not empathizing with your illness or the uncertain diagnosis. I find it difficult to express myself in written language, but my intention is well.
I also struggle with not knowing. It gives me a feeling of insecurity and fright. And I respond to that by analyzing it to death. I can write a dissertation by now about various illnesses and the mechanisms by which things like diet or trauma impact them. In the meanwhile I lived behind my computer on junkfood and coffee. For me analyzing is a safety behaviour. And it helps to kick myself out of thinking-mode and into do-ing mode: eat the veggies, have the long brisk walk, see the kind friend. I want a good life, not a doctorate in psychiatry. I guess sometimes there is no answer. It is like having just two labels available: green and blue. And then deciding which one a shade inbetween is. Not sure if it is the same for you though. Hope you find peace with it.
@Moon, I read your story, I saw a lot of overlap. I also think I have traits of various things. And I suspect they struggle with women with autism or schizophrenia. They go by male presentations, in my experience. A psychiatrist I like suggests we keep it simple: psychosis, depression, anxiety. Then indeed add a spectrum from mild to severe. It’s interesting.
That insecurity and fright you feel i can highly relate to. I got diagnosed with ocd in addition because of this, and other obsessions. For me it seems to come from a place of not a super solid identity and a need for things to fit into a neat category and to figure out how my brain works (so borderline and autism stuff).
I was originally diagnosed with bipolar years ago but it became clearer it was sza as I had psychosis other times. Some drs diagnosed me with sz but my depressions were too long to qualify for that. So I have sza
@Moon, I think it’s a bit the same for me. I had high sensitivity, high need for logic and a disorienting family when growing up. That leads to weird coping behaviour in all categories of the DSM. I’m not sure if borderline, autism and OCD are so clearly divided. I have a high need to understand things logically, and get stressed if I can’t. Also, I wonder if many women with bipolar or borderline aren’t secretly undiagnosed aspies.
