Understanding 'normies'

My best friends are “normies.” They have seemingly perfect lives and health. But they make it a priority to educate themselves on, and empathize with, schizophrenia.

I’ve met plenty of people who could care less about mental illness. But there are also plenty–like my friends–who truly love and care.

I hope you all find some of those good people who can change your mind about “the normies.”




I am the proud older brother of a “normie”… I support her normalness… :wink:


I don’t consider my self mentally ill, I think it’s wrong to classify people by mental illness if they have a case that normal people don’t understand !
we yet don’t understand what schizophrenia is, and there is no reason to call it an illness, until we can prove it is or prove the other wise. it’s only a suspect of a mental illness not really one.

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I think we can get too bogged down on whether mental illnesses exist/what terms should be used( mental distress/mental illness etc)
For me the central issue is how much a person’s functioning is affected be it occupationally/self care/socially etc , and whether the person is in need of some form of help and support.


I’ve known and have seen people who didn’t add to this community for all of the years they lived on this earth, and they are fully healthy and have no physical or psychological problems, functioning is not what every body think it should be, I think differently from other people, all what they think of is Feed and Breed, what food will get into their mouths, sex and having children…etc. Luckily that’s not my way in thinking, which maybe it’s not functionality in their standards, I have other standards and I feel proud of not being so molded like everybody else. And here I found people like me, and I think we are different, we’re not like them, our problems and our distress manifests its self in a different way, and other people can’t understand it, they call it a mental illness, we’re not insane 24/7 it’s just how we display our bad emotions. People should think of that !


Things are not always what they seem. Let’s for a moment assume that I’m a normal, even though I don’t think it exists. My son is diagnosed with SZ. We are not so different in a lot of ways yet in others we are. I applaud his willingness to go against society and believe or question what he wants. A great quality. I know from the outside looking in that my life would appear to be a piece of cake as I don’t deal with positive and negative symptoms on the same scale. Let me tell you a bit about my life. Every day I have to motivate myself to do things that need to be done. Because my son is questioning his place in the universe the responsibility of his day to day life falls to me. Should I get a job so that we have more money coming in? Maybe soon I can do that but for the past 8 months or so it is not an option as he counts on me to go to all of his appointments with him. I’m the one scheduling his appointments and picking up his medications and taking him for blood work. Trying to nicely motivate him to do things like laundry and shower. I would like to go to college and become a social worker. Right now I can’t. Because we don’t have enough money because I made the choice to not work so that I could put my son’s recovery first. I don’t mean to sound harsh but as my son is questioning the universe I’m the one making sure the rent and bills are paid, rearranging credit, cleaning, cooking and worrying about the future. In the not to distant future I have some pretty heavy decisions to make. Do I go back to work and risk my son’s recovery? The decisions I make will have a long term affect on me, my son and my husband. I want to move because where we live is not helping my son and our apartment is too small for 3 adults. We can’t afford to move because I’m not working. My husband is on Cipralex for anxiety because he couldn’t handle the stress of watching my son treat me not so nice and it was interfering with our relationship. I’m prescribed sleeping pills for insomnia and in the beginning stages of menopause. I only take the sleeping pills when I think that it is a safe night to do so and that my son won’t need me. Even the meals that I cook are partly motivated with the thought of making them healthy and rich in the vitamins that I think my son is lacking due to SZ. Every day I have to question if my son is being motivated by SZ, addiction or just cognitively a teenager. Every month when he gets money I have to prepare myself for a possible break if he decides to use to much marijuana. Every morning I have to see if he took his medications, the ones he doesn’t think he needs, because if he doesn’t than I’m the one that will be putting the pieces of his life back together if it all goes down hill. Then the question… Did he take them or hide them? How about drugs and alcohol. We have an understanding that my son will lie to me, to my face where these two things are concerned. He doesn’t see the negative consequences. The withdrawal and increased anxiety that always comes. Snapping at me because his own feelings are yet again out of control. I don’t have the luxury of showing my own feelings. I have to keep them under control. I can’t fall apart and be depressed because my husband and son are counting on me to be their pillar of strength. When I do decide to go back to work then I’m going to have to balance all this with work. I will have a job to do and my personal life will not be my employers concern. They will expect me to do the job that I’m being paid for. So yes my life may seem easy on the outside looking in. I’m a stay at home housewife who has all day to pay the bills and do housework. But when you look closer it is not so black and white. No one knows what any given person is struggling with behind closed doors. The very person that you see walking down the street that looks normal could be going home to any number of issues after leaving a job that is breaking them. But they trudge along every day doing what they need to do because others are counting on them. Being happy… Most of us have to settle for contentment or just keeping it together day to day. Sorry if I vented…

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I have a some normie friends who really understand schizophrenia, they actually have taken classes that featured it or they read about it on their own time. They seem to enjoy talking to me more and they understand what my life is/was/will be like. I value normie friends who keep structured and stable lifestyles, the kind of people who are drug-free, intelligent, and rational. I have an old friend who lives in france now, and he just found out the he is schizotypal. He’s also a genius. We have some interesting conversations. I have an old friend who is in an intensive dentistry program, he and I get along very well, as he doesnt do drugs or alcohol but instead would go to the gym with me. One of my old normie friends is a pot smoker and he also likes psychadelics, but he’s also a genius, he was the saludictorian in my class (asian got valedictorian, duh) and he understands schizophrenia pretty well. He, unlike my other drug-loving old pals, is at friggin duke making good grades, and he’s married. Intellect and responsibility make for the best and most understanding normies- people with lives, basically. They see me living a very straight, medicated life and they respect it.

Stable, educated, rational normies are great, but they’re few and far between i find. Alot of normies just see the mentally ill as trash and not people with an illness- think about it…you dont call someone with cancer a “canceritic” and avoid them.

i class myself as normal. i had espisodes of psychosis thats all

Thank you and I applaud your strength. I for one appreciate the everything that my Non-sz friends do for me. I know it’s hard work and I know how much time, effort and patience it takes…

Now that I have been living out of my head and I see how much I’ve taken my sis for granted, not even doing my own laundry… :frowning: She’s my sis, not my maid… and all the appointments she’s made and all the ledges she talked me off of, and all the episodes she’s saved me from… She’s 17 and been taking care of my bills for years already… No teenage hood for her.

Then I meet people (like that negative chick in my group) who say, “I want go to into psych work, but I HATE normies” It just ticks me off.

Because if I’m starting to loose it, the psych worker BETTER treat my kid sis right and give her what she needs to save my life. Because when I come out of it… I will be so ANGRY at any person who feels that head of my crisis team… the one who has cleaned up my puke and who very nearly took a bullet for me… isn’t worth talking to due her Not having SZ??? I am a pacifist, but that just might make me go against that grain. I would become very unpleasant.

A person once told my sis… “What do you know… your life is so easy.”
I wanted to pin them to the wall and say, “Why don’t you see what she has to do in a day just to keep me out of hospital and then say that…”
Sorry if there is too much caffeine in this venti… :wink:
Yes, I would love some whine with my cheese…

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Thank you for the support :smile: How is kid sis doing by the way? I’ve been meaning to message her.


Thank you asking… I’m worried actually. I hope you don’t mind this post…

Our brother John is due out of rehab in a few days and she’s been working her butt off trying to make peace with him… (even though HE’S the one who should be asking her forgiveness)

That 18 year old kid from my SZ group who she gave her heart too (only to find he didn’t want her heart, he wanted something else and dropped her flat when she wouldn’t put out) has been around again trying to “get back in her good graces” I am trying to be kind… but I don’t think it’s her good graces he’s really trying to get into. It KILLS me when she says, “well, maybe he’s changed, maybe we can be friends…” I want that little jerk out of her life for good. He had his chance, and he blew it… He made her cry so he should go away and never come back now…

Now this amazing baby is here and she’s been taking on that responsibility and extra shifts at work so she can chip in for more rent. I’m really very afraid for her. There have been a lot of tears in the bathtub for her… She’s not a crier. She’s a hard core lass, but this has been the worst season for her.

She won’t go to Mom and Dad. She dries her eyes and says, “I’m not a baby… I’m not going to run to daddy just because things are a little tough. I just have to grow up and take it.” With no support group, I don’t know… She’s a strong one, but I keep thinking I’m seeing little signs of cracking.

I like to say I am living amongst normals.

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I wish I had a quick fix. There isn’t one.

As a parent I understand wanting to get certain people out of my children’s life. With my daughter there was always someone, usually a boy or two. I can’t protect them from the world or getting hurt. It’s hard but that’s how we learn. If the wrong people didn’t hurt me I would still not know to stay away from them. I’m not saying invite the guy in but in the end if she really wants to see him then she will. The best you can do, I think, is set the boundary that he isn’t allowed in the home and preferably not around it. If he really wants to see her bad enough he can make plans to see her at a previously arranged time and place, like a coffee shop. Sometimes the more we push against something the more teenagers push to defend. If/when this falls apart she will have her big brother to help her pick up the pieces.

How is John doing? Has he made any progress other then being sober?

Let her know that I’m thinking about her. She is strong and allowed moments in the bath.

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this is an interesting debate. I associate with hardly anybody but who i do associate is pretty “normal” if that is what you want to call it. They don’t hear any voices anyways. I really like hanging out with normal people when i feel comfortable and can fit in. Mainly because i like to talk about other things. I don’t really like talking about mental illness all that much. I have things more in common with them more than a disease i guess. The truth is i haven’t hung out with a lot of mentally ill so i can’t judge that aspect either.

I think for me i would like a balance of the two. Some normal friends and mental health friends. I’m not going to group people together though as someone that i don’t like because that is wrong and not something i would want done to me!

I think when i’m having more serious mental health problems though i would want to talk about it more.

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Hey there Surprised, I hope that you tried to tell her that trying to get a little help from your parents when you’re having a rough time does not make you a baby. Or does not make you weak. ESPECIALLY if you’re only 17. EVERYBODY needs help at some point in their life. Tell her she doesn’t need to be a martyr in her life She doesn’t need to sacrifice her life for everybody else ALL the time. And it’s OK to put herself first sometimes. It’s OK to lean on the people who love you sometimes. Because it will only be temporary. I wish both of you good luck. Are you hanging in there with your classes?


Hey 77nick77,

Thank you for your post. After I read your post I did tell her that admitting she needs some help might be a very adult thing for her to do. I KEEP telling her what she already knows… No lifeguard goes in to a situation without back-up. It FINALLY came out… She thinks if she admits she’s having a hard time, Mom and Dad will make her move back home. She doesn’t want to move back home.

On a different note… Math class is doing well. Got all the homework done and posted. English was a bit last minute for me. I’m getting used to college sites and uploading essays. Odd. How are your classes going?

i want to be a ‘normie’

nothing wrong with being normal, it just means that you are not symptomatic anymore and isnt that not something that we all want anyway?

i strive to be normal, i would ‘fake it untill you make it’ and i think i made it tbh on the right med of course and dose.

i have no problem with people who have not got a mental illness, my friends mean a lot to me and my family and they dont suffer from mental illness and tbh i would do my best to make sure that they didnt get one either especially the young ones, i know the signs so i think i know when someone could be in danger of mi. i always ask how they are and talk to them about their problems, i hate talking to my friends about my sz as this is something i can discuss with my care team in private. take care.

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We don’t even use the term normies where I come from we are all human beings!



Yeah, Surprised, I can see her point. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize living on my own either if I was her. Family dynamics are different for everybody. I personally call my parents and sisters frequently for help. But I am in a totally different situation. There’s a very slim chance of anyone in my family taking me in if I fail at living independently. But It comes to mind that MAYBE she could ask for help from your parents SELECTIVELY. Like gloss over the stuff that would get her in trouble or makes her parents feel she has to move back home. And just causally tell them she is running into a rough patch and what do they suggest. Maybe this is bad advice but I remember you saying in a post awhile ago, that you pick and chose what helps you or not when you are reading our posts and answers. So it’s up to you and her of course. My class started off fine, on my first quiz I got one question wrong out of ten questions. I also turned in a short paper but the teacher hasn’t graded it yet.

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I think your advice is spot on. I also have a feeling that they really CAN’T make her move back home. She’ll 18 in July. I don’t see Mom and Dad trying to fill the nest again. Besides, I’m doing better, but I know I’m not good living on my own yet.

I’m taking Geometry and Writing. What are you taking?