First, the funny one. So I’m halfway home from work and just looking forward to getting home and just getting some rest. The road I take has a million stores lining it. One store sign caught my eye. It said “Dive”. I looked at it and I thought, “Hmmm, that looks interesting”. My first thought was that it was a bar or a strip joint or something similar.
I thought, “That’s nice that they don’t try to hide it, they just come right out and tell you exactly what to expect, they didn’t try to sugar-coat it.” I thought, “Now that’s a good example of truth in advertising”.
So it piqued my curiosity and i thought I would go inside whatever it is and check it out. Then I looked closer: it was a darn scuba diving equipment store, lol!. I kinda laughed to myself and kept going.
I got home and the stuff started happening again. Sometimes I have to trust my instincts. The neighbors are control freaks. So I went outside and yelled to my neighbors some really mean stuff. I have tried to be nice to every neighbor except the guy upstairs. He’s an ass. Even while I was first was not getting along with him before, I would hear him talk and he sounded like a nice guy even though I hated him But now I realize he’s just an ass. A 300 lb ass, who’s a bully which I figured out myself and confirmed with my ex-roommate who was friends with him.
Anyways, I try to be nice but the neighbors want to laugh at me and treat me bad. So I went outside and said some stuff which I won’t repeat here. It felt good because they’re going to treat me bad whether I’m nice or not so or whether I cause trouble or not so I might a well go down fighting. It’s going to get ugly but as for now things are calm. Time to rest.
There, did I earn my tagline?