Trying to believe in God again

i have a hard time believing in god sometimes, and other times i believe. i wish i believed in God, but ive been through so much trauma that i have a hard time stating positive. thank you

I used to be atheist. I came back to god after a series of events that should’ve killed me didn’t. Also I lost that condescending attitude that atheists have toward religion and saw the good in it. I don’t dislike atheists though I acted the same way some of them on here acted. I also had another moment which helped me with my faith but unfortunately I can’t remember it. My memory has been a little off since the psychotic break.

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I used to be agnostic and my sz took me to a place were I only had God to cry out to. After I decided I was going to spend my life following the teachings of Christ because I felt God had left me no clearer path to follow. God showed up in a powerful way in my life. No regrets no looking back, faith comes by hearing, read the word . I would start in John if you’re interested.

What’s so hard to believe about a group of eternally existing interdimensional beings who live in and as a universe with no beginning or end who began creating things thousands of eons ago?

The hard part to believe is that they know what they are doing or are kind and loving, that’s the hard part. Because you know, earth and everything. You know? Earth.

That’s the hard part to believe, that kind beings crafted the third dimension knowingly and seeded life in it and they are actually really super loving dudes. I don’t know if i believe that part.

But do they exist, yep, they do. There are so many different forms of life by now.

I feel the same way man it’s so hard to stay positive with all this going on that I’m just so negative about everything I try to turn to God but I’m doing bad stuff that he won’t want me to be with him but I believe he knows why I do the things I do.