Trouble finding a reason to keep going

My fiance was dx’d with Sz/bipolar/ADHD (SzA?) 20 years ago. When his meds are working, he maintains really well, he knows he needs his meds and takes them religiously. When we met, I had no idea that he was anything other than really talkative and outgoing. My mother was also Sz and so is my youngest brother, so I have a little bit of experience with this illness. My mother died from alcohol poisoning because she said it was the only thing that made the voices stop. My brother is homeless halfway across the country and trying his best to follow in mom’s footsteps.
In the 3 years that we have lived together his disease has progressed in a negative manner. When we met he had recently moved to the area and had found a doctor that would prescribe him his medications but had not had much luck finding a psychiatrist or therapist. When his meds stopped working, his new doctor prescribed the medication that he generally switches to when one stops working. At that point she admitted to him that she didn’t feel comfortable being his doctor since she did not know anything about Sz or have any experience with the antipsychotics he was taking with his Ritalin. So she gave him a referral and washed her hands of him. None of the doctors we called were able to help. They either weren’t accepting new patients, they didn’t accept his insurance, or they did not have experience with Sz. So he just continued to take the medications he had stockpiled from previous prescriptions, except for the Ritalin. He fell back to an old habit at that time (meth) because he could not function without the Ritalin. He couldn’t focus or sit still. He just paced and fidgeted constantly.
Fast forward about a year and a half.
He finally got to a point where he knew he needed to quit and he knew he needed help from a psychiatric professional and checked himself into a psych hospital where they added gabapentin and increased his dose of Latuda from 40mg to 60mg and released him 2 days later. He had an extreme adverse reaction. He says he normally hears whispers/chatter, but now he was hearing full conversations and conspiracies against him, us, his extended family and had even had a will made up (although he says he wasn’t suicidal). He has checked himself into two other psych facilities since then but checks himself out once he calms down and doesn’t give the hospitals a chance to really help him. I have continued to call psychiatrists and we have seen numerous social workers and been to a lot of emergency rooms. He has gotten me fired from my job because of his aggressive and erratic behavior and he doesn’t work because he’s on SSI disability. His disability check won’t even come close to covering our rent and I don’t feel like he is stable enough for me to leave him for any amount of time to even start working right now.
Although in all honesty I’m more worried about him. He has admitted to me that he doesn’t think his medication is working at all anymore (although he’s still taking it) and I can see it taking a toll on him. He’s just a shell of the person I met three years ago. He doesn’t laugh or smile, he’s confused all the time and doesn’t seem to care that we may be homeless very soon. I’m so scared that I’m losing my best friend and I don’t know what to do since it seems like the mental health care in our country is geared toward hoping that they all just buck up and get better on their own. I feel completely hopeless. I almost feel paralyzed because I can’t figure out what to do. I have never been jobless, I have always paid my bills and made sure my son and I had a roof over our heads, but all of my strength and willpower seems to have left me as I watch the love of my life disintegrate before my eyes.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


I’m so sorry you and your fiancé are struggling so much. I think you need to tell him your concerns help him get the help he needs. Help him make appointments go with him to them.

As far as finances do you have any family that can help you out?

I wish you all the best and I hope everything gets better for you.

Are u normal…??? I mean ur fiance and brother have sz…?? Do u work in a job… encourage him to apply for disability…it somehow helps…

As ur post was lil longer i could only read half of it…u can post it on family forum…

I have told him all of these things and he just seems defeated by life. He has this delusion that all of these people owe him money so we will be fine. No one owes him money. I have exhausted the family avenue as far as borrowing. I have been the one calling to try to make him appointments and I go to all of them with him because he just doesn’t seem to comprehend what he’s being told.

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I have the same problem. When I take ritalin in addition to my antipsychotics, I feel much better. But I stopped it because I got too many side effects from the ritalin. I became tense and unreal. add is a serious condition. Maybe he could try wellbuitrin or strattera?

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@far_cry0 I suppose I’m as normal as I can be considering my mom and my brother had/have Sz. My mental issues come more in the form of anxiety but I take meds for it and they seem to help. I’m not working right now because my fiance showed up at my work one day ranting about me leaving him to walk home (I had no idea where he even was). So I got fired.
Also, he is on disability right now, but it doesn’t pay the bills, that’s for sure.

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Have you considered a job where you work from home? Then you can get some income. I think you can do like telemarketing from home.

It sounds like he’s really losing touch with things he definitely sounds like he needs a med adjustment. What do his doctors say?

@moderators think the family forum would be beneficial here too


All the pdocs I’ve met told me that amphetamines are disastrous with this disease. no one ever prescribed me ritalin or its similarities after I was diagnosed with sz.
In Israel that might have been medical negligence that could be sued for.

If you can’t meet with a good pdoc sometime soon to prescribe him something for his condition you’ll have to return to work, got no choice here. I had similar experience with my ex. he has no other place to go to, he can endure some time alone with his illness.

@mulansruse I’d like to encourage you to join our forum for Family and Caregivers that can be found at:

While this is a peer support forum for people with schizophrenia and other closely related psychotic disorders, the Family forum is specifically for people like yourself, who have a loved one they are concerned about.

Also, please let your loved one know about this forum as they may find it helpful.

Best of luck,

Volunteer Moderator

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