It’s really hard for me to look at the Facebook profiles of people who have passed. To see how happy they were, all the posts of how missed they are. And then there’s me, someone who has tried to commit suicide multiple times. Why do these people die and I still reluctantly continue to live? Hmmm…
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i wonder the same thing sometimes, its just not your time to die you are alive for a reason so you gotta kinda treasure your life even tho it might not be the best. thats what i try to tell myself even though a lot of the time i wish i was deead, i’ve tried to commit suicide a few times as well so i kinda know how you feel.
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Sometimes I try to tell myself that. But it’s just so hard lately to see any good in carrying-on. My mother and brother have both passed away, I really miss them, I really wish it was me and not them. But perhaps I’m meant to be here…my times not up clearly. I try to make the most of what I have…or what I can manage. Living is tough lol
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I have no interest in living anymore. If it wasn’t for the meager pleasure that drugs bring me I would’ve ended this years ago.
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we did not choose to be born… and death doesn’t care about feelings… we only have the time in the middle… the dead do not spite you for being alive after they have passed… so your question “Why do these people die and I still reluctantly continue to live?” I will condense this into its true form…
why do…is kept…only the living may pose why do questions…
these people die …being born ensures you will die… don’t need this part…
don’t need and
I still…only the living can use I the still is assumed time functions doesn’t matter if it is mentioned or not…
reluctantly… you must be alive to be reluctant…so keep but move to the place its definition would put it.
continue to… time passage words not needed
live… the guts of it…and we are left with almost your real question
why do I live reluctantly…?
you compare your reluctant attitude to the happy attitudes of the fallen… fair enough we found what you want…so ask for it…
why cant I live happily?
happy can be learned and cultivated many require teachings in it so ask like you want to learn…
how do I live happily?
this is your true question? many have this question and its a good one… there are meds counseling therapies goups ect that may help you find the happiness you seek and deserve… just ask for it… why not try it out on the forum… wont need the trigger warning…
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Thank you! I’m finally trying these past few months. I now have a great mental support system (friends, family, therapist, pdoc, pcphysician) so I’m hoping I can turn this ship around. I’m in some dark, deep, unrelenting waters right now and I’m trying to navigate to calmer waters.
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Its a pretty random universe is why. Healthy, beautiful, nice, considerate people can be walking down the street and get hit by a car and die. John Kennedy was one of our most popular, greatest Presidents but look what happen to him. While look at the guy running N.Korea.
Its random. I think I’m not such bad guy but I could get diagnosed with cancer tomorrow and kick the bucket in two months. This is how life works. I don’t know if you are a nice guy or not, I’ve only read a couple of your posts. But suicide attempts don’t mean someone is a bad person. And even if someone is a bad guy, who are we to judge him? He has a right to live too. He/she just might have been the victim of bad circumstances and he’s doing the best he can to survive.
Maybe I don’t fully understand your point but I think this might answer your question.
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I wonder the same thing. When I hear on the news about people getting killed… I think to myself that people die every day. So many people die every day, so what does it matter? Maybe my delusion is that God wants me to stay. Maybe it doesn’t matter.
And then I think of my son and I don’t want to abandon him here. I also want to see him settled and happy as an adult…
Plus, I’m learning that time goes quickly and the promise of death is for everyone.
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@Bdon
I lived in Greenwich Village, NY from 1985-1992. My gay friends were dying from AIDS almost on a daily basis, and not a weekend went by in which I didn’t attend a wake. Many of my gay friends had lost so many of their loved ones that they didn’t see a reason to live, and they questioned why Jimmy and not me? Why Billy and not me?
There is a psychological phenomenon called survivor guilt. The first thing you need to realize is that it’s okay to grieve, but you also need to realize that you bear no responsibility for your friends’ deaths. As difficult as it is, strive to find gratitude in daily living and focus on what’s good, rather than the pain and suffering of others. Don’t socially isolate. Get out of the house and focus on small acts of helping others. This will take the focus off of yourself.Also, exercise is helpful.
My heart goes out to you, for I’ve been there. That said, you must live, love, laugh and inspire. It’s the only way.
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I deal with the same thing. Ive tried to commit suicide over 6 times yet still I live when people who didn’t want to die are long gone, or others succeeded in suicide while im sitting here typing away wondering why Im so special for some reason that I didn’t die. Must be a good reason, because I want answers
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There is always hope, maybe not in this life but the next. --that aside
My pdoc was just telling me how much money is being poured into sz research and how pharma is the most profitable medical industry and sz meds are their most lucrative product. There’s still much to be learned, it’s not a lost cause and pdoc said she bets in 5 years we’ll have new meds.
I had a dream recently and i was asked ‘is it worth dying when ur problems will later be cured?’ And then i woke up
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I feel the world has been mean to me. I have a history of being abused. Lot’s of bad memories. In addition to that, I am mentally ill. I feel trapped in a reality show that I can’t get out of. I also have extreme paranoia that I am going to be mentally and physically tortured. Sometimes I think death may be the only escape from all that. I think of my children (18 and 20) who love me and would be broken hearted if I left them. That is a great reason to live but I should want to live! If the world were kind (would help a LOT) and I did not have the horrible fear and paranoia, I may want to live as long as I possibly can! Paranoia in my head and unkindness in the world is what makes me sometimes think death looks attractive. My kids make me happy. I have them to live for.
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