I broke up with my ex 6 years ago. Any word that ends with abuse, he did to me.
He’s been stalking me ever since. Once or twice a year he finds one of my social media profiles or posts and write me messages. I can tell by the style and wording it’s him.
The first few times, I tried telling him I don’t want anything do to with him. But he took it as acknowledgement of his efforts, and kept going. Then I started just instantly blocking the profiles he used to message me, but even that, he took as an “I see you” and created new profiles.
Now I mute notifications and don’t open the messages.
Every time he messages me, I get flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares, and a ton of negative emotions.
I used to be on good terms with his mother, but she won’t help me get him to back off. He lives in a group home, but they don’t think it’s their job to tell him who he can and can’t speak to.
The police won’t give him a no contact order because he doesn’t make threats nor use his real name.
People keep telling me I need to delete all of my content he’s able to find. Privatise or anonymise all accounts. Get better at telling him not to get in touch.
Show mercy because he’s sick (severe sz and low iq).
No one will help me!
I just want to move on and be in peace.
I’m starting to get consumed by fantasizing about taking matters into my own hands.
Maybe even getting some rowdy folks from my past to give him a clear warning if you know what I mean. Let him know it’d be in his own best interest to step down and let me be.
How do I rid myself of that? It’s getting consuming.
I can’t sleep properly because I’m so frustrated and desperate. I’m getting consumed by the desire to get him to back the eff off.
What should I do? How do I rid myself of those ideas?
I don’t know what to tell you. I 100% believe you but I am not sure what can be done besides blocking his messages. Unfortunately the police can be less than useless in these situations. My mom was being harassed by our ex neighbor after our dad died, because he had the delusion that my dad died so they could be together. The cops came, told her they couldn’t do anything, and left. He would do ■■■■ like put our number in shopper reward signups under his name, so every time we went shopping we would have to change it back to our name. He would leave creepy presents and stuff. It was super disturbing. The only thing that made him stop was when my mom started dating someone new 10 years later. Maybe you could have someone pretend to be your new boyfriend (definitwly only another guy that he perceives as a guy would work) and have him tell him to back off.
I’m sorry @Pikasaur .
There are things that made me think the way you feel.
You are probably last good thing that happened to him until the end of his life.
I don’t want to see him as some poor miserable sod to be felt sorry for.
He knows what he’s doing, just like he knew full well how his actions affectrd me when we were together.
All he cares about is himself and his unwillingness to let go of the past.
He’s done this to previous friends of his too, contacting them years after they told him to leave them alone once and for all.
He wants to feel like he’s not a bad person, but at the same time be allowed to act like one.
I don’t want to pity him or in any ways minimize what he’s done by “he’s sick and miserable”.
He wouldn’t be if he had laid off the drugs and stopped acting like a jackass!
I had a similar experience. He harassed me terribly, can’t go into identifying details though. He’s the reason I’m not on Facebook or other social media. Sorry, I dont really have any advice, but thought it might help you to know that there are others who have been through similar.
This is meant to be a general recommendation for folks with social media accounts, not necessarily specific to @Pikasaur.
I would recommend setting the security and privacy on social media accounts so that content is only viewable by people you’ve approved and only accept contact requests by people you know.
Carry pepper spray and perhaps some other nonlethal self defense weapons. Try not to walk alone. This guy needs to be taught a lesson, but I don’t know how to tell you how to do it. About your rowdy friends - Are you sure they would be better than this guy?
Sounds frustrating! My best advice is to make peace with the past. Even if he was abusive or hurt you, at least that’s what I’ve done. I forgave him for myself but I also promised myself to not let him back in my life. If he doesn’t leave you alone the best you can do is file a harassment charge for the stalking/cellphone or internet harassment. That’s what I was advised, but I didn’t go through with it. I probably should have. I couldn’t get a restraining order at the time because I didn’t find a good enough reason. He would break into my house when I wasn’t home, left so many voicemail messages one after the other that my phone was full of messages. It weakened my defenses.
I got involved with bad ppl bcz of my sz and bcz of how it made me miserable. Now that I am better, I need to learn how to ignore these ppl if I ever see them again by surprise as they will try to seduce me into drugs etc. Not only ex friends but also two female “exes”. I did careless and unwanted sex when I was too drunk with girls that I didn’t like. I thought alcohol was helping my sz and the voices but it wasn’t in reality.
Sz made me lose all my good friends who were from university, church, work, etc
Some of them just stopped talking to me bcz they saw me acting crazy. Others I stopped talking to them and deleted them from fb. My best friend who visited me in mental hospital left me after I insulted him online. He saw my crazy fb posts and asked me to get back on my meds. I insulted him and told him he’s the crazy one, not me.