I have a hard time telling if the voices I hear are real or not. If they are I am heart broken. Because I dont know I let people have the benefit of the doubt and go about life like nothing is happening. Today all day I have had the sinking feeling in my chest. The kind you get when you get when people make fun of you in school. Like oh they like me! Oh…wait they dont. Disappointment. Loneliness. Isolation. I dont want to put myself out there if people are just making fun of me behind my back. Or are severely annoyed by me. Are trying to escape me and cant cause I think we are friends. I dont know how to resolve this. I think people talk to me cause they feel they have to so as to not hurt my feelings. I just give it the benefit of the doubt that that’s not real… and maybe in being dumb I’m torturing them and me further. How can this ever end if they dont tell me what’s up…this sucks.
If they want to tell you they could have already said it to you by now. Even I have gone through it at work… People keep talking about me. Only thing I worried was if they say it directly to me, I won’t know how to react.
I got used to these commentary, with time if you practice letting go of lisenting or over hearing you won’t have an issue.
Some times I won’t even react if some one shouts at my back, I believe if they have to say it to me, they will call me out.
It just needs some good practice. Don’t worry all will be okay with time.
Thank you. I really am afraid of what other people think. I dont get why people hate me. I wasn’t looked at that way growing up. How can I have friends that aren’t really my friends? I almost think I’d rather be alone than trust someone who talks behind my back. And the really hard part right now is being at home with voices real or not. I seem that outside I dont have any. I’m not home but dont want to go back. But it’s going to be dangerously hot today so I have to go back. They think I’m a monster. Before I moved about freely and if I had problems I would get up and move somewhere else. Here I dont have that option as much. Sorry to dump on you I think I just need to get it out
Hey thats fine,
what I used to do is I used to think more,
what others are thinking of me and what I would think in regards to that thinking.
Its only due to voices there is a person in me who wants to be good because of fear.
I am sure even I have done it before talking behind the back,
I feel because I know only good or bad/ yes or no/ true or false/ black or white feelings I find hard to decide, I like to differentiate these days in more segments.
Its just that I try to please everyone.
One thing is sure while sz, having one friend and the entire world against you or no friend at all.
Its what sz condition has made you. Not the other way around. Because all have similar symptoms but each are unique in their own ways.
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